Thoughts on Homeschooling

Among my students right now, two homeschooled students are exceptional in all ways: intelligence, personality, and leadership potential. I’ve not been part of the homeschool community so when I hear stereotypes, they make no sense to me in the realm of experience. Yes, we can trade in mudslinging suggestions, that some homeschool because of fear or protectiveness, or that some parents don’t agree on homeschooling or how to homeschool, or that some are probably shaped too much by worries about the world, but I can’t say I’ve had homeschooled students at North Park that are dysfunctional because they were homeschooled. In fact, my experience at NPU supports the idea that the homeschooled are exceptional or at least well above average students and persons.

[I’m the son of a father who was a public school educator, and I’m all for public schooling.]

My questions: How widespread is this Christian Patriarchy or Quiverfull movement among the homeschoolers? And, is this more a homeschooling thing or more a parent thing?

So when I read a piece the other day (by one named “Libby Anne”) that got wrapped up in a discussion about Christian Patriarchy, where one finds a male-topped hierarchy of a husband and father ruling the roost, and something called the Quiverfull movement where the goal is to have babies for the movement, I had to read carefully. None of this was familiar to me.

Libby Anne defined things for us. Thus,

Christian Patriarchy involves the patriarchal gender roles and hierarchical family structure, while Quiverfull refers to the belief that children are always a blessing and that big families are mandatory for those following God’s will (some eschew birth control altogether). While these two belief sets are generally held in common, they can technically exist separately. Now, not everyone who holds these beliefs actually claims the term “Christian Patriarchy” or “Quiverfull.”

But it was this that surprised me: she blamed her parents migration into the Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull movement on the homeschooling movement. Here are her words:

My parents were originally fairly ordinary evangelicals. Like so many others –it’s a common story — it was homeschooling that brought them to Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull. They began homeschooling for secular reasons, and then, through homeschool friends, conferences and publications, they were drawn into the world of Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull. It starts slowly, one belief here, a book there. For those who are already fundamentalists or evangelicals, like my parents, the transition is smooth and almost natural. Suddenly, almost without realizing it, they are birthing their eighth or ninth child and pushing their daughters toward homemaking and away from any thought of a career.

She then asks why this sort of ideology is so effective:

Why are these movements so enticing to evangelical and fundamentalist homeschoolers? Simple. Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull offer the image of the perfect family and the promise that you can make a difference and change the world, raising up an army for Christ, without ever leaving your home. Organizations like Vision Forum and No Greater Joy promise parents perfect families in very explicit terms. If you follow the formula, you, too, can be like that pretty picture or happy face in the catalogue. They are the huckster traveling salesmen of the homeschool world, but they sell dreams.

And then she discusses some of her own realities:

I was perfectly happy to help with my younger siblings and cook for a dozen and do load after load of laundry. At age 10, 12 or 14, I was being trained to be a “helpmeet” to my future husband, preparing for my life’s role by working alongside my mother and serving as junior helpmeet to my father. I dreamed of my wedding constantly, and thought of what a wonderful wife, mother and homemaker I would be. A wife and mother was all I wanted to be, because any dream of anything else was nipped in the bud before it ever took root. I truly believed that this was what God wanted of me, and that serving my family and raising my siblings was serving God. And I gloried in it.

Growing numbers of parents in the Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull movements are keeping their daughters home from college. They argue that college is wasted on daughters who are never supposed to hold jobs or have careers anyway, and that it distracts them from serving others and learning homemaking skills. Furthermore, they contend, college corrupts daughters and fills their heads with ungodly thoughts of equality and careers. This phenomenon is called the Stay-At-Home-Daughter movement.

Back to the origins for her, with some confession:

You have to understand just how deeply these beliefs are implanted. Even though I began questioning my parents’ beliefs halfway through college, I was so inculcated into their mindset that I did not even think of having a career or being other than a stay-at-home homeschool mom until four years later. Even though I have been out for years and am now in my mid-20s, I still feel like I am a failure because I only have one child. I feel that if I don’t have five or six kids, I am somehow a flop. In my brain, my worth as a woman is still tied to the number of children I have. I know these brain patterns are bullshit and I’m working on eradicating them, but they are still there. And in my conversations with other daughters who have left, I have found that I am not alone in this.

She goes back to the cause yet again:

By now, you may be wondering, how is this possible? How can parents indoctrinate their children in this way? The answer, I would argue, is simple: homeschooling. By homeschooling, these parents can control every interaction their children have and every piece of information their children come upon. My parents called it “sheltering.” The result was that I knew nothing of popular culture or the lives of normal teens, besides that they were “worldly” and miserable while I was godly and content. I had no idea that normal teens would see the amount of chores I did as unfair and oppressive, and even when I did realize this, I took pride in it, for the amount of chores I did and my cheerfulness in doing them showed my godliness.

I would push back, but then I don’t know how widespread these movements are. I would argue it is the combination of parents, social milieu/pressure and even homeschooling as the place where an ideology can be nurtured.