What Your Coffee Tells You about You

What Your Coffee Tells You about You July 13, 2013

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  • 4thegloryofgod

    Otherwise know as the chart of “What Starbucks wants you to believe.”

    Interesting that no one is cantankerous, offensive and mean-spirited.

  • Phil Miller

    It’s assuming everyone’s already had coffee… 🙂

  • 4thegloryofgod

    Oh that’s good! LOL. Got to go get me a second cup now.

  • Scott Eaton

    What’s it say about you if you don’t drink coffee? 🙂

  • Marshall

    “Ex Presso” obviously means “pressed out”. The Italians have to say “espresso” because their language has no ‘x’. We speak American: just because they are deprived doesn’t mean we have to be.

  • scotmcknight


  • Chris Giammona


    What are you if you like Coffee Brewed via a Siphon Pot, Hario Drip, French Press, or other method to extract the essence of coffee?


  • scotmcknight

    Off the chart!

  • scotmcknight

    Or, a nonconformist.

  • Eric Weiss

    What about those of us who take our coffee black? (No cream and also NO sweetener; sorry, but “Americano” isn’t the same thing.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JANcVXHqNTI

  • williekrischke

    hmm… not exactly. After being a barista for 6 years, here’s how I would characterize it.

    Espresso – either 1. you don’t have time for that watered down BS, or 2. you see yourself as the cultured, European type.

    Triple Espresso – you’re hungover.

    Caramel Macchiatto – (if you’re a guy:) you’ve never been in a coffee shop before. You kind of think fancy coffee is for sissies. The menu confuses you. You order a macchiatto because it kind of sounds like “macho.”

    Skinny Hazelnut Latte – (if you’re a girl) – you’re on a diet. Always. (if you’re a guy) – you’re gay. You may not know it yet, but… you are.

    French Vanilla Cappuccino – you usually get your coffee from the gas station. You’re probably going to be really unhappy if I make a real cappuccino for you, and if you really think this whole Starbucks thing is BS, you might even bring it back to me and complain that “it’s half empty!”

    No Foam Cappuccino – you want people to think you know about coffee, but really, have no idea what you’re talking about.

    Brewed coffee – you’re a no nonsense kind of person. (Until you get to the condiment bar.)

    Americano – you’re a no nonsense kind of person who doesn’t trust that I re-brew the coffee every half hour.

    Iced coffee/Americano – you’re a no nonsense kind of person who doesn’t have time for all that “sip it slowly” nonsense.

  • Steve Johnson

    The cantankerous one is the one with the 32 once mug of 7-11 brew.

  • scotmcknight

    Sanka? Folger’s? Maxwell House?

  • Preston Garrison
  • Scott Eaton

    I use tea to fix that problem!