Long Days, Tired Churchfolk (Donald Nwankwo)

Long Days and Tired Churchfolk: thoughts on dealing with spiritual weariness

You could see Amber fighting back tears as she admitted, following some updates on her life in the past year: “I just feel caught between too many things. Life has been frantically intense, busy and just so crazy. And I have felt so far from God in the midst of it all!”

[Image sent to me by Donald and they can be congratulated for the recent birth of a baby girl.]

We were four of us, good old friends at a coffee shop catching up on each one’s life.  After a few inputs from here and there, Amber finished her session with the question that got me, us, thinking, “The craziness of life is one thing, and it probably happens to almost everyone once in a while, but how can one maintain some level of spiritual stability through it all?”

That’s the central question I returned with to ponder about. I would also share some of these thoughts with the group the next time we met. Pondering, I could relate to the bottom-line of Amber’s feelings. I had been there a few times before. I may come back there again too, who knows?

Tiredness is a natural phenomenon. Our physical and mental faculties are given the capability to work, work hard, and then tire and become in need of rest. That is simply part of our biological frame. It is a healthy cycle. Obviously, we are speaking of tiredness, not in the medical sense of the term as a result or symptom of a health condition, but tiredness as that natural winding down of our bodies and minds as they communicate to us that they need rest. On the usual daily (or nightly) basis, it is easy to handle. The real challenge happens when we experience extended phases of life laden with demanding times that leave us exhausted for prolonged seasons.

When committed Christians (actually, any religiously committed person) face overwhelmingly demanding seasons – physical, mental and/or emotional, they tend to sense it weighing on them spiritually also. At those times they could feel (what I will loosely call here) a sense of spiritual tiredness. If physical tiredness refers to the condition where one feels sapped of energy or strength, and cannot continue at the same initial level of energy or strength, then I only refer to spiritual tiredness in this post as that condition where a religious person, a practicing Christian for purposes of this article, senses that lack of internal motivation or drive to keep engaging spiritual practices – personally or communally. It is that condition where, if you knew what spiritual respite could ever mean (if it means anything at all), you might consider it.

To clarify, this feeling of spiritual tiredness as used here does not refer to the disengagement that is simply due to the lack of time or energy as a result of life’s pressures. It rather refers to the declining internal motivation or drive in spiritual and religious commitments and practices during those times. You see, this is the more risky aspect of the matter. If time and availability are truly not there, then they are simply not there that season. If that was the case, then the bigger impact to watch for becomes the long term rather than the short. Put another way, would we come out on the other end of that season still standing, or will its toll take us from spiritual tiredness to spiritual apathy in the end? That is the possible sting of spiritual weariness!

Here are a few of this pilgrim’s ponderings on how we can stay spiritually revived, surviving through such times.

1. Learn to think organically: This is going to be the foundation of a lot of other layers shaping a spiritual response to these stages. When we develop this mindset that our life is integrated, we are enabled to begin to see the possibility of serving in, and through, various kinds of conditions. Then our faculties are shaped into seeing everything else around us in connection with God and His Presence. This basic understanding (and faith) is crucial. This is how, in these times, you can be surprised by the sight of the possibility of serving God in ways and through circumstances that look different from what you’ve known before. If you are from a formal liturgical church community, then you probably remember the sending that normally happens at the end of the community worship time. By that bidding, we go into our worlds, taking with us the light of Christ’s Presence. In such way, those pressures no longer keep you from God, you rather come into them with God’s Presence. It is therefore psychologically important, in those times of pressure, not to mentally over-dichotomize aspects of our lives.
2. Try to Integrate: Having learned to view organically, you are led to the next phase of integrating your faith principles into those subsets of life. This, of course, is done appropriately, respecting the context and circumstance. It need not be a forced linkage. It needs to flow from the internal parts of us, pouring out properly in love and conviction into those contexts, albeit faithfully. For example, Christ’s love can flow in the care-giving of an ill family member while viewing the concurrent long work hours as an avenue to provide, thereby serving your family in this way – both being done from a posture of worship and love. You can think about it this way: As I face my pressures, what are some take-aways from my life of faith that speak into my current circumstances, lighting up my path in view of these present areas of service into which I have been sent with the Light of Christ? Now, I must admit, this is sometimes easier said than done, especially in the heat of the demands. But remember, the first point above helps set the stage for this attitude.
3. Learn to relinquish: Try your best to prioritize and let go of some things so you can find some in-between rest. During intense seasons of life, some things may now need to go to the back burner. At such times, knowing how to separate between the urgent and the important is helpful. You not only need to let go of things physically, but emotionally also. The physical and emotional rest you get a hold of intermittently can be very reviving for you spiritually, still within those times.
4. Learn to rekindle: As you prioritize and relinquish and find rest, try your best develop some pieces of intentional practices that rekindle your spiritual fervor. Don’t push it. Find them. These are like random sticks you keep throwing in your spiritual fireplace to keep it going until you can return to the regular loading up of the wood normally used. This keeps your spiritual fire burning, and if you have any spiritual sensitivity, you will appreciate the warmth at those times… and even much afterward, looking back at those times. Some of those spiritual practices may be intermittent solitude, quiet times, Bible study, short prayers from the depths of your soul, or time with a Christian friend where you feel safe to just pour out your heart and be blessed by their fellowship. They may look like snippets, but when filled with a heart desirous of God, His Spirit can take them and fill them up with grace and rekindling.
5. Finally, keep trusting: When all has been said and done, keep trusting God’s Presence. In life’s journey as His people, God’s Presence will go with us. Sometimes we sense more than we need to believe, and other times we may need to believe more than we sense. I do think that seasons of stress and spiritual weariness are seasons when trusting is most necessary. We trust Him based on His credibility and faithfulness. We trust He is in it with us!

Life throws tough days at us. It’s not easy when you find yourself caught between long work hours and taking care of an ill family member; or caught between full time work, family and school; or single parenthood, work and caring for ageing parents. At those times, it can be helpful to take a step back and spiritually strategize in terms of the larger picture than the immediate. The point is not about how to cut corners on those demands, as much as how to remain spiritually stable in spite of them, and come through it all standing. Whatever the case, when you come out on the other side, make sure God has not lost your heart.