What Makes Pandas Tick?

Not much, evidently.

Giant pandas only eat bamboo, a low-nutrient food they can barely digest. So how can these massive creatures exist on such a terrible diet?

By being big ol’ sacks of lazy, basically. That’s at least the prism from which I view the latest findings on giant panda metabolism researchers published this week in the journal Science. (Disclosure: I have feelings on giant pandas.)

The researchers tracked the daily energy expenditure (DEE) of five captive and three wild giant pandas, and found the creatures don’t move around much. The giant pandas’ energy measurements “are among the lowest, relative to body mass, ever made” for mammals not in torpor, which is sort of like suspended animation, the authors write.

“Giant pandas have exceptionally low [daily energy expenditure], which may facilitate survival on their diet of bamboo,” the authors write.

The captive pandas studied spent a third of their time being physically active, while the wild pandas spent about half of their time being active.

Giant pandas, from an energy perspective, are close to sloths.