An Invitation, Church (Terri Fullerton)

By Terri Fullerton

The phone rings in the background. The secretary answers the phone. She knocks on the door during your staff meeting.

It’s your spouse. it’s an emergency.

You step into your office, close the door and pick up the phone. Initial silence is broken by tears and panic-infused phrases. Your heart beats faster as you hear the words of your three-year old son’s test results.

Blood work

Cancer.

You fly out the door. The ten-minute drive home feels like crawling in slow motion.

People from church stop by with lunch, dinner, snacks, hugs, and prayers.

Treatment plans take you to Houston. The Jacksons took the two older boys with them. Their boys share the same sports activities. The Andersons took your six-year old daughter home. Their oldest daughter, Christy, is her favorite babysitter.

Tucked in bed in a room to herself, your innocent daughter falls asleep. But in the middle of the night, Mr. Anderson slithers in the room and pulls back the tattered quilt. He has a dark side he hides well behind his slick Sunday suits.

He tells her that she can’t tell anyone because the stress might keep her brother from getting better. Her dad could lose his job. Christy wouldn’t be able to babysit them if she tells anyone their secret.

The violation changes her entire life. She will spend decades running from the cavern of pain the abuse carved in her soul.

The repeated violence made something deep inside freeze. She didn’t seem quite the same, but then, none of you did.

She will keep the secret for two decades. One day as a young mom, the trauma begins to thaw. Pain and anger start ripping her apart. She tries harder to hold everything together but inside, it’s spinning apart. She will fight facing the ugly truth with every cell in her being.

She fears that the pain from the abuse will engulf her.

The shame it spewed on her coats all her decisions and each of her relationships.

She has been robbed of innocence and choices, intimacy and belonging.

For years she cringes when she sees pictures of children sitting on the lap of Jesus. What if he is no different than Mr. Anderson? It is three decades before she can admit this and bring it out of the dark.

She lives halfway across the country now. As a young parent, she returns to church but her heart is guarded. In her late 30s she is in counseling. She feels as if she is always trying to find her way back home but fears it’s been bulldozed down.

She will be one of a million who share #MeToo on Social Media in 2018.

She is one of many of the men and women who have been sexually abused or assaulted that sit in the pews at church. The #MeToo admissions come from teens in the youth group, parents teaching kids, the elderly.

One of the painful and confusing realizations is one that our culture accepts more than the Church. The people, like Mr. Anderson in this story, has not just made foolish decisions. It’s not just an immoral behavior. It’s a criminal activity. Teachers, doctors, social workers are required by law to report it but Church has remained mostly a safe place for the ones who participate in an activity that is against the law.

She wonders, why the wolves dressed as sheep at Church are allowed to prey on the vulnerable, the ones too young to see the perpetrator’s deception.

Am I safe here? Are my children safe here? How will the leaders handle disclosure of sexual abuse in this church?

Will they believe the innocent or side with the perpetrator? Will they seek truth and justice or seek shame to control and silence? Will the Church stand and applaud with a counterfeit grace that exists at the expense of honesty, repentance and restoration?

She wonders how the Church will respond to those braving the wilderness with vulnerability and courage. Will they see it as a movement that will fade with the next big hashtag?

Or will church leaders see the invitation to join God in seeking a path of restoration? Will the leaders participate in kingdom work by being strong and courageous or will they continue to stand in silence because the topics are uncomfortable? Will they let fear and silence be a louder message than the love that cultivates freedom, deepens faith, empowers the weak?

Or will the Church follow Christ as ambassadors, bringing light into the darkness, carrying the message of hope, healing, empathy?

Church, please don’t miss your invitation.