Remember Who You Are

The first key to successfully navigating these difficult times is to keep a firm grasp on reality, and to never let anyone – especially those in positions of power – convince you that something is true when it’s false, or that something is false when it’s true.

The second key – and the one I want to focus on here – is to remember who you are.

Episcopal Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde made news this week when, in an interfaith service at the National Cathedral, she asked President Trump – who was sitting in the congregation – to “have mercy upon the people in our country who are scared now” – referring especially to LBGTQ people and to immigrants.

Two points before we go any further. First, we can question the appropriateness of a public prayer service (even an interfaith service) at the beginning of a President’s term in a country where there is no established religion, but such things have been done occasionally throughout the nation’s history and consistently since 2001. And second, while the building where this event was held is called the National Cathedral and it was built with a charter from the federal government with the intent to be used for national events such as state funerals (much as Westminster Abbey is used in the United Kingdom), it is part of the Episcopal Church and receives no taxpayer money.

What’s important for us here is that Bishop Budde remembered who she is – a minister of Jesus Christ, called to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

Another sidebar: this is a Pagan blog and I am not interested in debating the authenticity of Bishop Budde’s Christianity. From my perspective, progressive Christianity, conservative Christianity, and MAGA Christianity are three separate religions, none of which are mine.

In 2017 we were inspired by badass park rangers who defied Trump’s orders to stop sharing information with the public unless it was approved by him. They didn’t do anything extraordinary. They just remembered who they were and who they work for (the people, not the President) and did their jobs.

In 2025 we’re inspired by a bishop who remembered who she was and used an opportunity to speak the truth and to ask for mercy for the most vulnerable among us.

It would have been easy to lead a generic service, to mumble some pretty words, and to avoid a confrontation. She wouldn’t be the first Christian leader to sell their soul for the approval of Donald Trump.

Did she change Trump’s heart? I don’t think he has a heart. Did she persuade him to moderate his extreme positions? No. She made him uncomfortable for a few minutes, but that’s about it.

But she remembered who she is and she refused to let Trump change her.

None of us are likely to have an opportunity – and a responsibility – like this. But all of us will be challenged – are being challenged – to remember who we are, what we are, and what our core values are.

Remember who you are when your values are challenged

My conservative friends tell me we’d be better off with smaller government, fewer regulations, and less immigration. I don’t think so, but they might be right. Policy differences are up for debate.

But when someone argues that trans people shouldn’t exist or that refugees should be treated like criminals, that’s a matter of values and it’s not up for debate. It’s my responsibility to speak up and speak out, but more importantly, it’s my responsibility to not let the loudest voices in the room change who I am and cause me to start thinking that some people are “less than” because of who and what they are.

Remember who you are when your priorities are challenged

I don’t know Bishop Budde, but I do know that as a bishop she has a diocese to manage, and I imagine that doing her job as a bishop is going to remain her top priority.

I said “I’m not a political activist” and that caused some people to assume I’m abandoning the political world entirely. I think this post and the last post clearly show that’s not the case. But what I’m not going to do is let yelling at Trump get in the way of doing my paying job, of worshipping my Gods, of trying to contribute to the modern Pagan movement, and of at least occasionally enjoying life. I did too much of that last time and it didn’t accomplish much.

Trump and MAGA are a cultural problems. And while we have to oppose them politically, we will never permanently defeat them with only political action. We have to change the culture, and the best way to do that is to be who and what we are, as openly as possible, as loudly as possible.

Remember who you are when it feels like the losses will never end

We’re at the beginning of the “shock and awe” phase of Trump, MAGA, and Project 2025. Bad things are happening, they’re happening fast, and they’re going to keep coming. Team Trump 2025 is much better organized than Team Trump 2017. There’s been some pushback – 22 states have already sued to block Trump’s executive order ending birthright citizenship. This is a fight I expect to win, but at least for the next few months losses will outnumber victories.

Remember who you are.

And also, remember who you are when the losses are personal and not communal. Last year was a tough year for me. This year has started off with sadness. It helps to remember that no matter what happens, I’m still a part of Nature, a part of all that is, made from star stuff and animated by the same forces that give life to every other animal, vegetable, and mineral in the universe.

And also, I’m a Druid, a polytheist, a Pagan, and a witch. These aren’t just labels or titles, they’re part of who and what I am. Knowing that gives me the strength to keep going even in bad times.

Who are you?

In order to remember who you are, you have to know who you are in the first place. For most of us, this is the work of a lifetime. I’m in my 60s and I’ve spent considerable time and effort exploring this question. I know who and what I am much better now than I did in my 20s and 30s, but I expect to still be wrestling with this when I take up permanent residence in the Otherworld.

There are plenty of people who will be happy to sell you an identity, for a price. For some, the price is your money.

For others, the price is your soul.

I can only tell you what works for me: lots and lots of introspection, combined with trying on a series of identities and seeing how they fit.

Some I didn’t really want (i.e. – corporate executive). Some I wanted, but not badly enough to do the kinds of things I would have to do to become / achieve it (becoming rich). Some were helpful but only temporary (amateur athlete). Some stuck, but weren’t deep enough to build a life around (goth culture and horror fiction).

I’ve found an identity, a home, a life here in my religious, spiritual, and magical work.

Which is not to say that’s what you should do / be / become. No one can answer this question for you.

But I can promise you this: you’ll learn a lot about who you are in the next four years, if you live intentionally and pay attention.

Remember who you are

One of the more frustrating parts of our current situation is that so much of it is out of our control. We can’t get the party we voted for to do the right things, much less the other party. The only person you can control is yourself.

You have to live by someone’s values – make sure they’re yours.

You have to support someone’s ethics – make sure they’re yours.

You have to live by someone’s priorities – make sure they’re yours.

Remember who you are.