On the Christian website Crosswalk.com I yesterday spotted an article entitled (something like) “Can Pornography Be Educational?” Though I failed to read the article, its title did get me thinking about these top 10 lessons that I think can be learned by anyone who pays close enough attention to pornographic movies:
1. A porno movie is like a farmer in the city: they’re both desperate for even a little plot.
2. Porno is gossip boiled down to its most elemental components.
3. It apparently sometimes pleases God to indulge in anatomical exaggeration. And there’s nothing you can do about it.
4. Getting paid to pretend you’re enjoying sex is only a little more depressing than paying to watch someone who is getting paid to pretend they’re enjoying sex.
5. “Find repulsive; tolerate; accept; desire” are the steps to Satan’s four-step waltz.
6. You know you’ve watched too much computer porn when you realize you’re ambidextrous.
7. Porn is like lunch: it’s never, ever free.
8. Way, way too many men hate women.
9. Sex without love is depressing.
10. Sex without love is really depressing.
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