The Shore Family Motto

The Shore Family Motto July 26, 2010

This is the Actual Conversation had by my wife Catherine and I on the morning of August 17, 1981, the day after we got married (at nine o’clock in the morning in the Shakespeare Garden in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park). Before getting married Cat and I lived together for some two-and-a-half years.

“I didn’t think I’d feel so different after we got married,” I said.

“Do you feel different?”

“I really do.” I was sitting with my back against the wall in our “bed”—five old blankets that each night Cat and I rolled out onto the floor of our apartment. She was lying at my side. “I should have said that yesterday when the pastor asked if I take you for me wife,” I said. ‘I really do.’ Heftier than only ‘I do,’ don’t you think?”

“I really do.”

“I feel like my dad.”

“Oh.” Cat had met my dad. “Is that good?”

“Well, it means I have to start chain-smoking, and being so constantly pissed off at everything that I drop to the floor from a major coronary when I’m only thirty-nine. But that was good enough for my dad, and one day it’ll be good enough for me. Bummer for you, though.”

She ran her hand around my chest. “I don’t mind. You’re worth it.”

I lay back down beside her. Side by side we looked up at the ceiling.

“I really do feel differently,” I said. “Like Ward Cleaver—or whatever the name of Donna Reed’s husband was.”

“Hmm,” said Cat. “This doesn’t bode well for me.”

“Are you saying you’re not gonna wanna vacuum our house while wearing high heels, a dress, and pearls?”

“Have you ever known me to vacuum the house at all? Wearing anything?” 

“Great! So you’ll vacuum naked?”

“Right. Cuz that’ll get our house clean.”

I took Cat’s hand. “Are we adults now?”

She silently considered her answer.  “Nah. That’s no fun.”

“So we stay children till we die. Right?”

“Right. Exactly. That’s the only way.”

“Because what’s the Shore motto?”

And then we said again what we’d often said before together: “Fuck ’em!”

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  • Don't apologize, John. If the final line offends anyone, "Fuck 'em!" Frankly, I don't understand why that grand old Anglo-Saxon word meaning to strike would offend a Christian. It's not "taking the Lord's name in vain." Why should Christianity imply prudishness? The fact that it does is emblematic of the way the revolutionary nature of Christ's message has become ossified.

    I'm confident Jesus often used the Aramaic translation of "Fuck 'Em" when the Pharisees and Scribes grew too insufferable.

  • erika

    great post.

  • I've been meaning for a long while now to do a post on the whole deal between Christians and cursing. Maybe this is that time. Thanks for your own thoughts on the matter, which as always are top-rate.

  • Thank you!

  • The Shore motto is eerily close to my sweet, lovely wife's motto which is "F&^% you, you f&^%-ing f&^%-ers. It's usually not put so succinctly, but you always know that's exactly what she's just said. It's a large part of how she gained my respect and charmed me. Are you taking pre-orders for the book? And for goodness sake, would you please get your books on the Kindle, you lovable Luddite? It's the 21st Century.

  • Elizabeth

    It's stunning, John. You have flawless comic timing, but you also have a great sense of that other kind of laugh, the one of recognition. I read this and I feel like I was there, as if I recognize you and Cat as old friends. Thanks.

  • Elizabeth

    PS: I'd love to read your take and the ensuing comments of everyone else on cursing and Christianity. It's been hanging over my head a long time and it's time to clear the air. No one else can do it like you can.

  • Diana

    Maybe that's what he wrote on the ground when the Pharisees confronted him about the woman taken in adultery.

  • Diana

    And again, I forgot to click the "notify" button before clicking "submit." Silly me!

    I'm glad you're writing this book. I'm so looking forward to it!

  • This motto seems very close to the short form of "the serenity prayer".

  • OMG

  • Robert Meek

    Offended? Please. I've said a lot worse. Not that I think I should brag, but it would definitely be the proverbial pot calling the proverbial kettle black, were I to point fingers!

    To the point – I think, no…I know, that we get all way too hung up on things like that, and don't focus enough on the important things, like what's behind it, when it comes to words we're "uncomfortable" with! But that would require calm rational thinking. (Ouch!)

  • Kim

    Amen to John's flawless comic timing! And you know (John, I hope you don't mind my sharing), he's been that way since high school, both in his writing and on stage. A rare talent indeed!

  • Elizabeth

    @Kim: Ah ha! John has a secret past on the stage. Do tell.

  • Tim

    Never understood the church's prohibitions on cursing. I know that the Scriptures talk about refraining from course jesting and Isaiah, was it, who stated that he was a man of unclean lips? I'll tell you, as a Christian with a mild case of Tourette Syndrome, my cursing flows a little more fluidly than my other ministerial peers…but then I'm the media/graphics guy and I suppose like a tattoo artist, I have what some would call, artistic license. Not one that I abuse, mind you, but some times no other word quite suffices than a good solid SHIT! or FUCK! I do like to play with phrase extensions to add comic relief to their usage. For example, instead of just exclaiming, "Shit!", I may extend the phrase to "Shit-buscuits!", or just plain "Fuck!", to "Fuck-a-Poo!" Oddly enough, such phrases glide off my sneezes. Not really sure if this is a Tourette thing, or just something I started doing when I was seven.

    When the angel of the Lord touched the live coal to Isaiah's mouth, what choice string of colorful expletives streamed forth? God comes to do for us, that which we could never do ourselves. Despite our own SINdromes, He makes it good. I know you don't believe, Brian, but I thought I'd just toss it out there.

  • gooseberrybush

    Words are not good or bad in and of themselves. It's in their tone and their context that they do the greatest good or harm. Saying, "Shit!" after I hit my thumb with a hammer is a lot different than telling someone, "You're nothing but shit." When words (four letter or not) are used to wound people, that's when they become evil.

  • Gina Powers

    Hey all–love the perspectives on this, and here's mine: swearing has kept MANY an idiot alive throughout the history of humanity! Think about it: is it better to take a Louisville Slugger upside the head of a person who pissed you off, or just call 'em a fucktard? I prefer the more legal means of venting frustration myself! 😉

  • Tim

    I agree so much, gooseberrybush.

  • The first time I heard my Dad swear, he actually pre-announced the event. "You're about to hear your old Dad swear, son." He was trying to change the oil on a Ford Ranchero he'd bought used in the mid-west and upon which all bolts had rusted frozen – including the oil plug and oil pan bolts. It was an afternoon of knuckle and bolt-busting frustration. My folks were so straight and religious that hearing an expletive roll from his lips (a resounding, "SHIT!") was admittedly a bit freaky for an 8 yr-old.

    And, to this day, "SHUT THE FORD FALCON!!" is one of my favorite swear phrases.

  • I love this. So precise. and beautiful.

    And dang, thank you for including the

    wedding photo.

    What did you think I was going to say?

  • Ace

    I agree with this comment. I've known some of the sweetest, nicest people in the world who swore like sailors. There are some lovely people in this world who are just a little… colorful. 😛

  • That's great! My dad's dad's non-swearing swear phrase was "Nut bag thing".

    My teenage son and his friends amused me by taking the former host of America's Funniest Videos name in vain. Hit your thumb with a hammer: "Bob Saget". Cut off in traffic: "Bob Saget".

  • F'in A, man. F'in A.

    Cursing is one of my favorite topics. I sometimes annoy classes at my church by sharing my thoughts on it, but only when they bring it up first.

    A few years ago when I came upon a gang murder and tried CPR (failed) on a young teenage boy, I wrote about the experience. And when relaying the part about how at least seven of the kid's classmates saw the shooting and didn't even call 911 as they went to class as usual, I had no other option but to think "What the fuck?!?". So that's what I wrote on my blog.

    My extended family didn't talk to me about the murder. But they mentioned my writing of the F-word and one family member thought it was a sure sign I had become unbalanced. No, actually it was a sign I had just witnessed great injustice and held the face of a dying boy in my arms as his friends abandoned him.

    Love your motto, John! That will come in very handy at the office.

    p.s. — hope the naked vacuuming suggestion worked out for you later

  • Gina Powers

    LOL@ Mary Linda & Redlefty!!! Red, I'm glad you related your story, and I'm sorry you had to go through that……the child you tried to help was so lucky he had you there!! Gang murder–doesn't surprise me at all that his friends didn't call for help; usually everyone seems to want to be REALLLLLYYY invisible when that type of incident occurs. Doesn't make it suck any less, though, and again, good for you for sticking around to help!

  • John, Brian and the rest of you… I looked up the historical meaning of 'fuck' on the web. It dates way way back to when 'sex' was a forbidden act outside of marriage, punishable by a prison term. The judge would read the decree that '"john smith' is guilty of 'Frequent, Unlawful, Carnal Knowledge".

    So, rather than write all those words, they abbreviated it to read: FUCK….

    Look up SHIT…you'll be surprised what it stands for. It's amazing how we've turned these Abbreviations into something bad.. Shit means "Ship Higher In Transit " Goes back to those same old days when they shipped manure around the world for fertilizer production. The manure would be put in cloth bags, stored in the hold of a ship, that took three weeks to cross the sea. The bags would get wet and gas was forming in the hold. The night watchmen would carry a lit lantern down into the hold in the middle of the night to check things out. The flame in the lantern would explode the gasses and the ship would go down. Too many ships were being lost…The experts finally twigged what was happening, and figure it out. We'll ship the bags higher up on the boat so they don't get wet.

    S.H.I.T…Ship Higher In Transit…..sounds reasonable and feasible to me!

  • Kim

    John was always captivating on stage, he had such presence, as you can probably imagine. I, along with many other admirers, harbored a wicked schoolgirl crush! 😀

  • WHAT?!

    Well, that's just … odd. But thank you, Kim! Nice to know! (You know, I'm now having a memory or two of being completely obnoxious to you. And now I'm going to forget that again. Cool! Works for me!)

    But yeah, Elizabeth, I always assumed I'd become an actor. I mean, everyone did. I almost DID, actually, when I was offered this TV deal, and a chance to do a movie and all that. But I thought I had to decide if I was going to be a writer OR an actor (I didn't know you could do both), so I voted for writer, and … and that was that! No more board-trodding for me!

  • (Holy cow!! I just remembered something completely awful I did to you, Kim! Why in the world do you even TALK to me anymore–much less say all these lovely things? You're too kind. LITERALLY. Yikes, man. You were just the sweetest girl. And I was–or certainly could be–such a complete dick.

  • erika

    I did not have time to share this earlier;

    I was having this very discussion on face book.

    Point one: Jesus was a carpenter..i am sure he had the mouth of one.

    And hello? 12 fisherman? They had potty mouths.

    The end..


    point two;

    I would rather hear my kids drop the f bomb every day then ever hear out of their mouths a racial epithet.


    the toddler has taken to saying

    “bamnit” when she drops something or does not get her way..

    she comes by it naturally.

  • Diana

    I knew about Frequent Unlawful Carnal Knowledge. I didn't know about Ship Higher In Transit. Thanks for sharing!

  • Kim

    Oh, nothing 30 years of therapy didn't cure. (KIDDING!) I don't remember you being awful. I remember a moody, charismatic, and at times, (if you will allow me) mesmerizing teenage boy. You could be intense, which is probably in no small part why you were such a good actor (and now compelling writer)! Besides, memories of my ex-husband have set the bar pretty high on the awful scale, so you're off the hook there. 🙂

  • Elizabeth

    @erika: Family lore has it that I did a spot-on perfect imitation of my father saying "God damn it" while still in diapers. Swearing AND the name of the lord in vain. I'm hopeless. I was not allowed Barbies or water guns, however. They were very conscientious. Just not about language.

  • That must have been the gol dang pits. Seemingly more concerned over your use of language than the actual event. Is it possible that that the purpose of such words is to share the shock? Some events seem to have a shock content which is not conveyed by the narrative. Words seem inadequate to convey my feelings when I hammer my thumb! At least I must use an exclamation mark. I feel this is universal and not merely Christian. My daughter is my oldest and only female child. She is also the only military, a soldier and corpsman, among them. When she visited us and my 5 year old grandson was shooting everything in sight with his large yellow plastic fake assault weapon he kept begging his mother to join him in shooting a local cactus. She finally gave in and my surprise at seeing how rapidly my little girl could get into a military crouch ready to fire for effect with that thing might be capsulized as WTF. She was very pleased when she found an appropriately girly-girl pink teeshirt with the letters WTFWJD and posted her picture to her blog. My wife needed a week to figure out what the letters meant. Gradually I come to love the characters Cat and John in the story. But they were born into a world where they need to have a childhood rather than raise children. Does their motto shock me?

  • Diana

    Your toddler story reminds me of something that happened to my mom. Now, my mother was a Texas girl, who drank, smoked and cussed–and she married a Proper Bostonian White Anglo Saxon Protestant–with the middle name of Ferdinand which was in the words of my Proper Bostonian WASP grandmother "Not Spanish but French!" (Just to give you an idea of the characters involved.)

    So, my mother's favorite expression when feeling somewhat distressed by something that had just happened was "Damn it all to Hell!"

    So one night, she happens to have the in-laws over for dinner and my oldest brother (two at the time) dropped the fork when he was at the dinner table. Three guesses as to what popped out of his mouth. Of course, my mother almost died of embarrassment on the spot.

  • Diana

    "Move it or milk it!" I'll have to remember that!

  • erika

    so getting the toddler a Barbie, with the RV and town house~

  • My daughter learned her first word from her Mother. "SHIT!" A word of power to be used when things fell noisily from the cupboard and the like. Soon she was talking a like a fountain, but she always used her first word appropriately, so we had to pretend to the grandmothers that we thought she was saying something else (I no longer remember what) and they just misunderstood her childish speech.

  • Who makes these things up? Hard to believe these aren't the type of word that imitates the sound one hears when the activity is tacking place. In German it's fick and sheist. Apparently Germans are a little looser than the English.

  • Just to be clear: this word does not come from Texas. It's from the South Side of Chicago. I wonder if Michelle Obama uses it. Like her, my wife is a kind and classy woman.

  • like

  • Exactly, Redlefty. We have these words for a reason. Used for their intended impact, they convey EXACTLY what they are supposed to convey.

    I could think of a whole additional appropriate slew to add to the sense of incredulity. You were mild. And accurate.

    And I'm a Christian high school/college English teacher.

    WTF! Who doesn't understand this by now?!

  • Elizabeth

    @erika: LOL. I'm OK with Barbie. I played with my friends' Barbies obsessively. One had the three-story house with the elevator! I even had a childcare giver buy me one for use at her home, in clear violation of my parents' edict; she was a striking, statuesque blonde herself.

    My mother was a first-wave feminist. Because of extremists like her, we second- and third-wavers can feel safe in our knowledge that strong and girly are not mutually exclusive terms.

  • erika

    my folks never got me a barbie, a baby alive, or a easy bake oven….

    but i am not bitter…no, not bitter at all!

    and now i cuss go to a liberal church with lesbians, gays and even a cuppla humanists.

    can we say FOR SURE it was because they would not let me play with Barbie?

    we will never know for sure will we?


  • erika

    my folks never got me a barbie, a baby alive, or a easy bake oven….

    but i am not bitter…no, not bitter at all!

    and now i cuss, go to a liberal church with lesbians, gays and even a cuppla humanists.

    can we say FOR SURE it was because they would not let me play with Barbie?

    we will never know for sure will we?


  • erika

    oops sorry about the double post.

    it is risky breastfeeding and typing at the same time.

    OMG john!

    i said "BREAST" on your blog!!!!

    i eagerly await the letters of repudidation.

  • Elizabeth

    @erika: Don't even get me started on the sucky words women have for their genitalia compared to men. Breast really is the best of a bad lot.

    When swearing, I believe in the classics, especially those in the Anglo-Saxon vein with satisfying hard consonants. The Shore motto, in short. This conversation reminds me, though, of my efforts to be professional in work situations. That's when I unwittingly channel my Midwestern Baptist maternal grandmother and exclaim 'Jeepers', 'Land o' Goshen', and my favorite, 'Holy Toledo'. In New York City in 2010, this is actually more embarrassing than swearing.

  • Kim

    Another of mine and my brothers' and sister's favorite Dad "traffic-ism" was "Get out of the way lady or you're going to get an a@$full of fenders!" It was all my sibs and I could do to keep from laughing out loud.

  • Don: Thanks for these kindnesses. (And yeah, I DO need to get my Kindle thing together. It's soooooo hard to figure all that out. BUT my book "I'm OK–You're Not" IS available via Kindle, here:

  • erika

    land' o goshen?

    sounds like a Coen Brothers movie!

  • That is SO FUNNY, Elizbeth. I like Holy Torque! (if you remember our speed comparisons you'll understand especially why it's so dear.)

    And golly, I just think it's swell you use those expressions in the Big Apple. 🙂

  • Elizabeth! sorry

  • Jeanine Petty

    I always thought it was "Fornication Under Consent of the King"- a plaque that would be hung on doors when such act was taking place. Kind of like a "do not disturb: sign. No one else heard of this?

    Why is it SOOOOO fun to say that word?

  • Don Whitt

    Nice. The trees (and I) thank you.

  • Don Whitt

    Oh, and looking at your beautiful wedding photograph, I realize that the diet we should all be using to fight obesity is the "young love and poverty" regimen.

  • Kim

    I realized that this didn't come across as complimentary as I meant it to. Suffice it to say you were cool then, and you're tres cool now! 🙂

  • Liz

    Where I come from, when we are in "polite" company we call breasts by the name of the milk company.

  • erika

    as in "nursies" or "num-nums" or "such and so dairy farm?

    my middle son for some reason called them "MUTZ" we do not know why, but for the longest time we called him "the rabbi"

  • Kim

    Love that! “Bob Saget”!

    My dad’s favorite swear-phrase in traffic was “C’mon, move it or milk it!” That always cracked me up.

  • Ace

    I think it was my grandmother who taught my brother and I how to call people, "you ass!"

    My mother wasn't really that amused by it, actually. 😛

  • Ace

    Breasts are considered genitalia now? I think you need to head south to find those, LOL.

    My grandfather was fond of the term "Ah, bullfeathers!" but I've never heard anyone else say that.

  • Elizabeth

    @Ace: You are right, of course. Please substitute 'erogenous zones' or 'sex organs' for genitals, with my apologies. You also receive total props for getting me on the Wikipedia page for 'orgasm' before breakfast. That'll wake you up faster than coffee.

  • Ace

    Breasts aren't sex organs either, though they can be erogenous zones for *some* women (but not all). Biologically speaking, they're mammary glands. That's why we're "mammals" 😛

  • Diana

    Regarding breasts–A term I've heard used is "secondary sexual characteristics"–with the "primary sexual characteristics" being genitals. In the male, the Adam's Apple is also considered a "secondary sexual characteristic."

  • But you see how that ended up for David Carradine.

  • Diana

    Okay. You just made a reference I don't get. (Seeing as how David Carradine has not been an important subject in my life.) Please explain, if willing.

  • Diana

    Oh dear. Now I get it.

  • Gina Powers

    LOL@ Elizabeth!!

  • Gina Powers

    Ewwww….I HAD to ask, didn't I? 😛

  • gooseberrybush

    How else will you learn, Grasshopper?

  • erika

    really? is that why guys do that? cuz of the adams apple?

  • erika

    coffee spit take on my laptop…gooseberry.

  • Gina Powers

    LOL…there IS that, gooseberry! 😉

  • Gina Powers

    Ok, in all seriousness? Few minutes ago, I posted an exclamation of sheer frustration with today (because everything technical and otherwise is going KERPLUNK on me and I HATE it): my exact words were "Fucking HELL". To which someone who has known me for almost TWENTY years and with whom I've had a previous round about swearing saw fit to make a stupid, snarky retort. Now, bearing in mind, I did NOT take God's/Christ's name in vain, I'm like, FORTY and not TEN, and again, this person and I have already been through the subject of why I cuss, though (Heaven forbid–no pun intended) I am a Xian and married to a quite liberal Presbyterian clergy member. And no, I don't cuss in church (though, really–do you think you can hide that stuff from God anyway? DUH) or with the kiddos I might work with in church. I don't rape babies or livestock, I'm essentially an ok person, and I pay my taxes. So……the hell????

    Thanks for letting me vent, this just fucking BURNS my ass……..

  • Gina Powers

    To clarify: where I posted my DREADFUL EXCLAMATION was on Facebook. Thankyouverymuch.

  • erika

    sometimes a "kiss my ass" may be in order. if i were your facebook friend, i would have told your friend, to lightenthefuckup.

    i am a really REALLY glad to know that you do not rape livestock or babies…it is good to know that every one has a line….ya know?

    even the followers of Swami John Shore.

  • Diana

    Yeah, it would fucking BURN my ass too! Time to implement the Shore Motto again!

  • Diana


  • Doe

    I have heard it was "Fornication Under Command of the King" – which meant the King could have anyone he wanted? Who knows?!

    Wow, this is a great blogspot….

  • Ace

    apparently cutting off the oxygen to your brain gives you a better orgasm, or so the urban myth goes.

    Can't say I'm inclined to test out the theory. O.o;

    Doesn't have anything to do with the adam's apple though, which is just the thyroid cartilage around the larynx and thyroid (which is *typically* larger in men after puberty than in women but not really that significant other than allowing a deeper voice).

  • Oh, this picture. I really like this picture.

  • Ace

    Hahah, if somebody doesn't want to see/hear swear words, the internet is not the place to be. 😛

  • erika

    thanks i feel better knowing that now.

  • Elizabeth

    Holy Toledo, Ace. You got me once. Did you really think I'd be dumb enough not to have a reference the second time?

    "A sex organ, or primary sexual characteristic, narrowly defined, is any of those parts of the body (which are not always bodily organs according to the strict definition) which are involved in sexual reproduction and constitute the reproductive system in an complex organism…

    More generally and popularly, the term sex organ refers to any part of the body involved in erotic pleasure. The larger list would certainly include the anus for either sex, the prepuce, the breasts (especially the nipples) for females, and the nipples for males."

    I figured that John Shore was general and popular. Judges? No? I should have followed my first impulse and just written 'naughty bits'. If you want a real head trip, check this out:

    Technically speaking, the mammary gland is only a part of the breast. We can compare notes on what typical and atypical erogenous zones are–I've been looking into this all day, I have some really interesting new ideas–but I'm not sure this is the proper forum. Thanks for keeping me on my toes, and for the opportunity to consume photos of genitalia and taboo words while writing it off as research.

  • Diana

    You people are too funny!

  • Elizabeth

    John's original post was so touching, too. I feel kind of guilty. Then again, who wouldn't with all this indelicate stimulation?

  • Diana

    It was and is touching. Ah well, trust us to take the conversation to another, wholly unintended direction.

  • Gina Powers

    Hee! Yes, I am proud of me too! 😉 However, I DO attack…double chocolate chip cookies from Panera! Yes…NONE of them are safe around me! 😉

    "Swami John Shore"……perfect, Erika!

  • Gina Powers

    Indeed, Ace!

  • No, please: It was very flattering. Thank you.

  • Skerrib

    Love the post; love the photo more.

  • Liz

    Wish I knew the name of a dairy farm you would recognize but yeah, like that. So I would say to a friend that shirt is too flimsy for your .

    "num-nums" I am going to use 🙂

  • Liz


  • John, I would be very interested to read a blog of your thoughts on Christians and cursing. I've often felt conflicted about it.

  • Karen

    Diana — I love that! I probably shouldn't use it in a sermon, however.

  • Diana

    Yeah, that probably wouldn't be wise. You could always use Peter McWilliam's take on things–he thought what Jesus wrote on the ground was "Ain't Nobody's Business If She Do." Or not. That might just as bad, if not worse.

  • Kim

    I haven't read all posts here so this may have been answered but, has the young woman who posted the original question gained any insights from these discussions, and if so, how is she feeling about her relationship? I hope she hasn't been scared off from love or marriage, because with the right person it can be a beautiful, blessed thing.

  • Kim

    Oops…posted to the wrong article. Duh. But the message still applies!

  • Nicole A Olila

    Where did all this come from?

  • Nicole A Olila

    Perhaps my last comment was a bit vague. I should say–how did I "stumble upon" this blog? I am a Christian who LOVES THE LORD but HATES THE CHURCH. This is purely emotional and not theological or philosophical—or is it? C S Lewis refused to step foot in the Church of England…I consider myself in good company.

    I am stunned to have found your blog. I am thinking of buying your book. This feels more right-on than what has been my only possibility since I began actively hating the church–the Schaeffer's L'Abri.

    Signing up for updates.

    BTW, I found you on OS. Very interesting.

    More anon.

    I knew He would find a way–He always does, always has and always will. He's just like that.

    Blessings to you and Cat.

  • Nicole A Olila

    interesting. my mother was a super liberal and she never let me have barbies. when my dad would bring us back for "visitation", and we happened to have a barbie in hand–it would surely be pulled from our sweaty little mitts and thrown across the room into the trash.

  • soulmentor

    I like the motto and woof….you were cute!!!!!!! (Soulmentor, formerly Bill)

  • Brian Orrock McHugh via Facebook


  • Linda Cayhill

    It is too bad this lady says she hates the church. The church is only a building it is made up of those inside. I went to a great church in Indiana. The people had no problem with Gays. There were plenty that attended. We all worked together to help feed and shelter the homeless. A church is just a building it is the people inside who make many dislike church because of their narrow minded so called Christian views

  • Susan G.

    Truly, honestly made me laugh out loud. Love you, John & Cat!

  • You stole my motto!!

    You guys look so young and still so very certain in your wedding picture. Love it!

  • all I remember is thinking how weird it was that I didn’t get dropped off at ‘home’ after the honeymoon…. but went to our apartment instead. lolz

  • Love you too, sister.

  • Thank you, Brian!

  • Were?

  • Very cute and heartwarming. Same motto here, must be a 1958 thing. My dad sounds just like yours, he had a heart attack around the same time. That childlike attitude and spirit is certainly the secret to a happy life!!!!!!! Congrats on your successful partnership!!!!!

  • LSS

    have you read Frank Schaeffer’s books where he sort of deprograms himself and the reader from what church did to us all in the 198o’s and around then?

    i recommend them. he’s not as funny as John Shore but he has his moments.

    if you like the blog here you will like the books as well.

    so i recommend both.

  • LSS
  • cat rennolds

    you’re actually much cuter now.

  • I love hearing about your history, John. Both “Please Tell Me This Is A Bad Idea” and this post help me understand the life that has shaped who you are now.

  • mike moore

    “I really do.”

    I love the eff out of this!! You two sound like people who both loved each other and were best friends … a weirdly strange rarity among too many couples I’ve met over the years.

    After being together for 23years-ish, my partner and I got married on a lark. A month or so after it became legal for out-of-state couples to marry in MA, while we were eating lobster rolls in Mystic, CT, the half-way point between NYC and Cape Cod, we realized, “hey, we could get married if we wanted to ….” By the time we hit the Cape, it was decided, and a few days later, with 3 friends in attendance, we got married.

    Our reaction was just like you and your wife’s. After 23 or so years of living together and of saying we didn’t need or want society’s validation, we woke up the next the day feeling very different and wonderful … feeling married, something we’d never dreamed would happen.

    Thanks to you, John, every day, for helping change hearts and minds.