Forget “teaching.” Learn.

A woman sent me this:

Dear John,

I work in a very small medical office. Many of my patients are Christians who can’t see past the “sin” in the lives of others. For this reason, 99% of my patients don’t know that I have a wife at home and that together we have a five-month old baby girl. This is mostly due to the fact that (A) I don’t think it’s their business, (B) I’m there to work, not discuss politics or religious beliefs, and (C) I don’t think that my personal business should affect the small practice I work at.

With that being said, a patient of mine today cornered me into having a discussion with her. She began by telling me that God wanted her to talk to me. She then asked if I live with another woman. Of course, I didn’t lie to her. So she told me that God had put it on her heart to tell me that I am living in sin, and that I can’t be in a relationship with God with sin in my life. She told me that she is close to God, who doesn’t allow sin in her life.

I replied that the Bible is a the living word of God, and that He speaks to us all differently through his word. She told me that God doesn’t speak to us through the Bible at all, but only through prayer. I politely thanked her for her opinion and walked away.

Now, as a girl raised in a family who believes and does the same thing as this woman, and who, like her, believes that they and they alone are always right, this encounter was not only offensive and hurtful, but also brought up very strong feelings from my past, when I hated myself and began to distrust God. I can’t say that I’m back to the relationship that I want with Him, but that is for me to fix, no one else.

I just want to thank you for your encouragement and work to bring light to others. It truly is a beacon of hope in this crazy world. So keep it up! And thank you for your posts about misinterpretations and progressive Christianity. We all appreciate it!

Thank you for writing (and your kind words to me), healer of others. Sorry you had to suffer this awful experience. (And sorry about the family you were raised in, too. Yikes. Bad luck.) It sounds to me like you have your relationship with God in exactly the right place. It’s hard to imagine He/She isn’t entirely pleased with you.

Dear Christian lady who talked to this person (on the off-off-off chance that you happen to read this):

Unless someone who is being harmed needs you to come to their defense or rescue, let people be. In his own time and way, let God work in the hearts of others. Don’t use your voice to preempt God’s. [Tweet that.] It’s natural to mistake the will of your ego for the will of God. We all do that all the time. But that’s a tricky and unhealthy road to go down. Don’t. If you already have, no worries. Just back up to where your road and God’s road cross, and from that sacrosanct space apologize to anyone you’ve offended. And be sure to also apologize to God. And the next time you believe that God has “put it on your heart” to correct or chastise someone, assume that what God really said was not that you should teach that person, but that you should learn from them.