New Mercies

Here comes Friday.

With all it’s going to bring.

I’m sure new mercies are part of it.

Yes, God?

Because I’m gonna need them.

I wrote a post about God being in the schools yesterday.

Then proceeded to walk into our school with my held high.

Well, that is, until a couple of young ladies told me they wished they had the sub from the day before.

Wait, what?

I’m the favorite sub.

I’m the nice one.

“He was so chill”.

“He was so cool”.

And I took a deep breath.

I had been telling their class they needed to put their phones away.

Simple, right?

Not a huge request.

Except in this day and age?

I’m thinking they are kind of addicted.

I am too.

It’s hard to not check my phone.

There is a whole world is going on out there.

And it is all at our fingertips.

You really want me to put it away?

You want me to put the whole world away?

It’s way more interesting than what’s going on in the classroom.

I get it.

When I was their age, I would just look out the window.

Still not listening to my teacher.

Daydreaming about the world out there.

Always thinking about what was happening elsewhere.

Maybe conjuring up what would happen later that day.

After this.

Because the moment I was in just wasn’t good enough.

Today’s classroom window is the phone.

Not at all picking on these kiddos.

I think we adults are just as guilty.

Spending our moments planning the next.

So many of my moments these days are taken up by worry.

 Tiny anxious thoughts that enter into my brain when I’m not looking.

Creeping in.

Then blowing up in my mind.

Becoming catastrophic.

These kids hate me.

They think I’m stupid.

I must not be cool anymore.

Haha… like I was ever “cool”.

I’m sunk.

I hate this job.

I wanna quit.

No, like right now.

Just forget everything I said about wanting these kids to know they are loved.

They can’t look up from their dang phones for long enough for me to even tell them.

So I grab my phone and text Kevin to tell him I’m so done.

Oh, the irony.

I’m mad at these people for being on their phones so I pick up mine.

Deep breath.

Now is not the time to bail.

I kinda wanna bail.

Lean in.

Put your phone down, Karen.

Put your phone down and look up.

Look up at this classroom.

Look around at these young people.

Walk through the aisles of their desks.

Let them know you see them.

Not in a condescending way.

In a Jesus way.

Seeing past their behavior.

Look right to their needs.

What do they need today?

Ugh.

They need way more than I can give them.

I need way more than any one person can give me.

But, there is a God who sees them.

Each one of them.

Knows their needs and loves them right where they are.

And for some reason?

Put me in their classroom today.

And in their hallway.

And in every circumstance that I will walk into today.

Deep breath.

As I sit in my bed before the sun rises.

Grateful for this moment.

Someone remind me to breathe today.

To look up.

To lean in.

Give this Friday a chance.

These are what the new mercies are made of.

Another day to engage.

A fresh perspective.

A new start.

The sun is rising and it’s time for me to get ready.

Another deep breath.

Let’s go have a day.

Karen R Shock resides in Fort Wayne, IN with her husband and their youngest son. She had three more children who are married and four beautiful grandchildren. Oh, and a dog name JT Barrett (Go Bucks). She is a retired homeschool mom and is now a high school teacher and cheer coach. Life is hard, but fun.