My Boyfriend is a Rock Star

We enforce the Don’t Ask -Don’t Tell rule around this household.

But did I mention yet that Tim is ASB advisor at the high school or that this is Homecoming Week?

Tuesday Morning:

Tim walks into the bedroom in camo gear.

Tim: Do I look like a jungle terrorist?

Me: Mmm…no. Terrorists don’t wear camo Indiana Jones hats.

Tim: They don’t?

Me: No. They wear sweat bands or a head scarve.

Me: How much did you pay for that outfit?

Tim: $39.

Me: Are you kidding me? You could have gotten that for $10 at Goodwill.

Tim: Oh.

Me: What’s tomorrow’s theme?

Tim: Rock Star Pop Star.

Me: What are you wearing?

Tim: I don’t know.

Me: Who are you going to be?

Tim: I have a tuxedo shirt. I could wear that.

Me: And go as who? Who are you?

Tim: I could be a classical guy.

Me: I thought you said it’s Rock Star day.

Tim: It is. I could be the classical Rock Star.

Me: Oh. Brother.

Me: You can be Elton John.

Tim: I don’t even like Elton John.

Me: Yes you do.

Tim: I do?

Me: Yes.

Tim: What does he sing?

Me: BbbbbBennie and the Jetzzzz.

Tim: BbbbbBennieandtheJettzzzz

Tim: What else does he sing?

Me: Candle in the Wind.

Tim: Making a whooshing noise.

Me: There’s no whooshing noise in that song.

Tim:  There’s not?

Me: No, honey. Goodbye Norma Jean, remember? It’s about Marilyn Monroe.

Tim: Oh.

Tuesday night:

Tim: OHMYGOSH!

Me: What?

Tim: You expect me to wear that?

Me: Yes.

Tim: That hat too?

Me: Hat and glasses. It only cost $6.

Tim: Where did you get that?

Me: St. Vincents.

Tim: It’s wet.

Me: I know. I washed it.

Tim: Puts on the outfit and come sliding into the family room in his stocking feet.

Tim: What shoes am I going to wear?

Me: I don’t know. I gave away all my platform shoes in the 1970s.

Tim: Tries to slip on a pair of my flats.

Me: YOU are NOT wearing my shoes.

Tim: Okay. They don’t fit anyway.

Me: You can’t wear that shirt.

Tim: Why not?

Me: You’re a Rock Star. Rock Stars wear tight black shirts.

Tim: Elton John wouldn’t. He’d wear a button down shirt.

Me: Yeah. Like you would know that.

Poe jumping up on Tim.

Me: You might want to be careful there. That Demon Dog has a history of biting.

Tim: Down Poe.  

Tim: I should learn the lyrics to Candles in the Wind before tomorrow huh?

Me: Candle, hon. There was only one candle. Marilyn Monroe.

Tim: Oh. Yeah.

Me: Now you’re starting to sound like a Rock Star.