She sits huddled over her Beth Moore study book like a panhandler over a Happy Meal, drawing nourishment where she can. She doesn’t say much, doesn’t look up much from beneath those dark eyelashes. She keeps her coat on throughout the 2-hour session.
But today, sparked by some offering uttered, she peeks up from underneath spiked bangs.
“I missed a hair appointment to be here today,” she proclaims. ” I say that because you know how important those hair appointments are.”
Laughter erupts around the room like spray from a hose, unkinked.
Then we wait. Expectantly. There’s more.
Bonhoeffer said that in all of world history the only hour that matters is this one. We keep living for the event to come, unaware that life is in this moment. This hour is what God has called us to, created us for, is using for His purposes.
“I never thought of that,” she said, her eyes welling. “That God might use me through this. I suffer from depression. I keep praying for God to deliver me from it. Keep waiting for that rescue. It never occurred to me, until now, that God can use me in this — in the midst of this.”
“You don’t understand what I am doing now but it will be clear enough to you later.”
Rewrite John 13: 7, Beth Moore had urged.
And so we did.
We wrote it.
We read it.
We are praying it.
Still, it’s hard to believe that God is really for us when at darkfall loneliness is our bed partner, and come morning, our unwelcome companion throughout the livelong day.
It isn’t clear to you yet, God says. Trust me.
So we do.
Even in the midst of it.
Use us up, God, that’s our prayer.
We missed hair appointments for this.
* for more, check out ShelbyD’s post at allthechurchladies.com