October 19, 2018

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TRENDING AT PATHEOS Pagan
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17 responses to “”

  1. Oh yes, I know this to be true all to well. My husbands father is one of them and when we tried to warn others, we were not supported. His own son, now ex wife, and daughter in law were made to look crazy and abusive by this man to his ‘followers’ because his game was so good. Most people told us to keep it to ourselves and others had to taste it for themselves. Predators have been using spirituality and religion as a cover for centuries and that’s why knowing the signs and effects of this trauma is imperative in not going through it. Awareness is key. Great post

  2. I’ve found a very solid solution to this: Accept absolutely no one as a leader. They can’t abuse power people don’t give them.

  3. Thank you for your article! It is a sad thing when a charismatic psychopath enters a circle. Your article was spot on and I wish I had read it years and years ago! It would have saved me from divorce, disillusionment, and debt!!! I look forward to and enjoy your articles!

  4. Thank you Cyndi – for writing and posting this. Everything you say is so true. I have shared where ever I can!

  5. Thank you for writing and sharing this. I was in a relationship with a psychopath for many years. After leaving him, the first circle I attended had a leader to similar and I never went back. The second circle I attended had one as well as the third. So I am a solitary practitioner and will remain one. Maybe one day in will find another to join or maybe I will be brave and starty own.

  6. I was thinking about your comment for quite a while. I find this confusing. Leaders are part of life, from teachers to bosses. Assuming that you aren’t just another troll, can you tell me how you go about not seeing anyone as a leader?

  7. I hope not to be a troll :). If people have skills and talents greater than mine, as many do, I’m fine acknowledging that. But especially within my Pagan path, I will never put myself in a position where they have any power over me or any sort of “guru” status. Celebrity and titles like HP mean sh*#t to me. Manipulators and psychopaths won’t find worthwhile hunting if we accord them no power. I can’t be abused by a religious leader if I acknowledge none.

  8. It works, for me, precisely because because I don’t accept leaders. Religion in the West at least is an entirely voluntary. Psychopaths or other types of abusive religious leaders can only function in this environment if they first get people to believe in their superiority. Manipulation can’t even begin until you get potential victims to believe that there is some wisdom or knowledge which they can attain only through you. If you’re a prospective cult leader or abuser, once you get someone to swallow that hook, probably two-thirds of your work is done already. The rest is just charisma and applied psychology. Once someone buys into that hierarchy, you can disable a person’s boundaries and even their ability to reason and sense of self. It’s how Catholic priests carried on like Caligula with thousands of boys right under the noses of their parents and communities. It’s how people can be induced to commit mass suicide or strap a bomb to themselves for a cause.

    If on the other hand, you refuse to buy in and see the manipulator as just a man behind a curtain and not the mighty Oz, that manipulation is going nowhere. I think what I’m trying to say is not really all that radical in today’s Pagan circles. No one can exercise power over you unless you first grant them that power. It’s why the vast majority of us are solitaries and many of us by choice. This isn’t the only way to work the problem of course. You can try to watch for warning signs and try to build better group dynamics and whatever, but to me, it’s simply not worth it. Nobody I’ve ever come across in the Pagan world has anything I need that badly. My only leaders in religion are the gods themselves.

  9. Oh, don’t forget financial abuse if they can possibly manage it. I was married to one and his bad financial management drove us bankrupt — a process during which he told me that we were required to spend down my entire inheritance from my mother, who had died the previous year. It turns out the type of bankruptcy he decided (because of course he was making that decision, too) we would file absolutely does not require this. Hierarchical groups, of course, will try to separate one from one’s money by different means than the psychopath one married… but it bears keeping in mind.

  10. Oh the financial abuse…I should have included that for sure. I did touch on it in my article on 13 Types of Toxic Witches. So sorry you had this miserable experience.

  11. Thankyou for this article it is hard for victims to come forward and we need to support each other as a community