When a fundie asks you about your stance on the issue of homosexuality..

First remind them that people are not issues, they are children of God.

Then go all snarky on their ass and answer with a few questions of your own.

What is your stance on eating bacon wrapped shrimp?

Have you visited poly-cotton blend factories to talk about the will of God lately?

Do you wear pads or tampons when you attend church while menstruating?

What is the balance of time you think you put into discussing new carpet for the sanctuary vs. feeding and clothing the poor?

How is you pen-pal in prison these days?

When you welcome the stranger (immigrant) do you offer them water or food first?

When was the last time you told a banker who charges interest that you love her but hate her sin?

Where  should the victim of  a rapist should register for her bridal shower?

When your brother dies, where will you take his widow on your honeymoon and will your bring your current wife?

Especially for the ladies – how does 1 Timothy 2:9 play out in your congregation?

Oooo – and how Acts 2:45 is working out for you?