Every week, hell, nearly every day, I get called out in public or private on Facebookistan about my refusal to maintain “friendships” on Facebook with people who think differently than me or have a different opinion than me -ABOUT ME.
It just doesn’t make a lick of sense to me but like the fool I apparently am, I keep tryin’ to ‘splain it real plain like.
Here is a real conversation, that happened in my Facebook inbox, today.
Julie Rambow: Are you heterophobic? I think you should be more accepting of people who think differently than you, or at least be kind about it. Dale Carnegie, this would be a very good course for you to take.
Me: Oh honey, bless your heart. No, I am not heterophobic and I do not have to accept any thinking at all, ever, under any circumstances that involves me having fewer civil rights, less access to all heterosexual folks enjoy or a diminished personhood.
When you are ready to accept thinking that tells you that your family is not real, that you do not deserve to be safe in your own community or that you can be fired from your job because of who you love, talk to me again about accepting those ideas [or maintaining those friendships].
And to call me heterophobic is incredibly ignorant because my daughter is heterosexual my parents were heterosexual my sister is heterosexual and the majority of my friends are heterosexual, all of whom I love a great deal and who love me for ALL of who I am. I do not have to make room for people in my life who diminish my humanity and deny my sacred worth.
Julie Rambow: You delete friends for thinking differently than you….but you don’t have fear issues?
You do not have the capacity to understand what I am talking about, clearly. I have plenty of friends who think differently about a lot of things and issues but my humanity is not a thing nor it is an issue about which we get to disagree. A person who would believe I must argue on behalf of my own right to exist exactly as God created me simply is not a friend whether or not we are “friends” on Facebook. People do not get to have a difference of opinion about my civil rights and humanity. My sacred worth is not up for a vote and I do not have to include as “friends” (especially strangers on FB) those who “think differently” about my personhood. If you want to welcome those who abuse you to your table, feel free, but I do not have to nor will I.
Julie Rambow: People aren’t free to vote or think differently than you? They abuse you? You don’t know the meaning of abuse. Not – oh someone doesn’t like something I do. Sorry I scare you…you seem to be afraid of a lot of things.
She then blocked me so I was unable to say this:
People are FREE TO vote or think any way they please (but not FREE FROM consequences of the thinking and the voting) and I am FREE to include them in my life or not. People who “disagree” with WHO I AM or vote against MY CIVIL RIGHTS (which is more than disagreeing with what I DO), are not my friends, on Facebook or anywhere.
And no Julie, I am not scared of you, I pity you.
I genuinely feel sorry for you because you truly believe the lie that we must keep in our lives the people who demean, degrade and diminish us. Perhaps you have such people in your own life from whom you cannot imagine your own freedom. Lord, have mercy.
I hope that you find peace in your own life so you do not feel compelled to convince others that we must settle for anything less than peace in our own.