I Will Not Friend You On Facebook If…

Sorry friends, I hope you’ll pardon a little Monday morning rant (yes, it’s still morning out here for another seven minutes)…

Monday is sort of a “catch up” day for me. One of my weekly to-do items is to review the Facebook friend requests I’ve received for the past several days. I find I enjoy doing that all at once rather than sporadically throughout the week. And honestly, for the past few weeks I’ve been trying to recapture my use of my Facebook profile for my “real world” friends and family and to share more “professional” (if you can call it that) information via my Facebook page (find it here). The goal is to have a newsfeed that I can actually navigate and to be able to be more effective in general with my social networking.

This morning, while declining the many gracious invitations I received in the past seven days to connect with new “friends”, I came up with the following list.

We’ll call it…

I Will Not Friend You on Facebook If…

Your profile picture is a holy card. I love holy cards, and actually collect them, but on Facebook I’m looking to friend real people, not holy cards.
The first three items in your news feed all relate to score updates for that totally awesome game you’re playing. Sorry, I’m not a gamer. I don’t begrudge you your right to game, and I know I could hide your score updates, but I’m lazy.
English is not your primary language. Again, see that “I’m lazy” statement under #2. I’m looking to have real conversations on Facebook and it’s tough to do that if I have to paste everything you write into Google translate. Next year, when I dive into my planned goal to learn to speak Spanish, I will likely regret item #3.
You accompany your friendship request with a private note that tells me you’re lonely and looking to meet someone just like me. Yuck.
Your name is the name of an organization — I’d rather “like” your organization’s page than “friend” an entity.
You post anti-Catholic hatred on your profile. Trying to convert me? Not likely…

So you can see, I’m a bit picky when it comes to Facebook “friends”. If we’re friends on Facebook, then it means that I’ve put some thought into the decision and you’re more than just a number on my profile.

Am I doing Facebook perfectly? No, probably not. But I believe in the power of my social networks — I pray with and for my Facebook friends on a regular basis. They are my “think tank”, a bureau of trusted advisors who never fail to come through for me when I’m in need of information or support. As I continue to pare down my list of contacts on Facebook, I’d love to hear your thoughts on how you do and don’t approve friendship requests.

And one last question: Is “true friendship” possible on social networks? I say yes…