Am I a Shepherd Pasturing Myself?

In my prayer time this morning, I was rushed and distracted.

As a result, I almost skipped reading today’s first reading from Ezekial 34. I’ll be honest — all too often my daily prayer time, spent partially contemplating the day’s gospel, is simply another “to do” item on my list.

But something caused me to pause long enough to read the words of the prophet as he addressed the leaders of his time through the “parable of the shepherd”. His words are harsh, demanding, and clear. In part, he declares:

Thus says the Lord GOD: Woe to the shepherds of Israel
who have been pasturing themselves!
Should not shepherds, rather, pasture sheep?
You have fed off their milk, worn their wool,
and slaughtered the fatlings,
but the sheep you have not pastured.
You did not strengthen the weak nor heal the sick
nor bind up the injured.
You did not bring back the strayed nor seek the lost,
but you lorded it over them harshly and brutally.
So they were scattered for the lack of a shepherd,
and became food for all the wild beasts.
My sheep were scattered
and wandered over all the mountains and high hills;
my sheep were scattered over the whole earth,
with no one to look after them or to search for them.

Ezekial continues with an exhortation for the “shepherds” to hear the word of the Lord, as God looks after and tends his sheep.

Today is one of the days when I am acutely missing “Papa” Pope Francis’ daily homilies. I would have loved to hear him preach on this reading. In my prayer time, I was reminded of the many moments of late when he has taught that priests and bishops should take on “the smell of the sheep”. I imagined him reiterating those themes with Ezekial’s words.

But then I pondered how I too am a shepherd. My “flock” is simple and small. And amongst the sheep with whom I dwell I am at once shepherd and follower.

In a family, we take turns leading and serving. But there is no doubt that I have all too often “pastured myself” — being fed rather than doing the feeding, disregarding the signs of a “lost” sheep because I was too tired to address the problem at hand. Our little flock has at time scattered ourselves, rather than being unified behind a single and caring leader. Not always, but yes, it has happened…

So with this reading, instead of pointing at a bishop or a priest and saying, “I hope he read this one today!”, my finger is pointed squarely at myself.

I have some work to do in my pasture.