Sisters

I’ve mentioned before that I am a hopeless romantic and write often about relationships, marriage, and “love”. However, we often associate the word “love” with romance, while forgetting that love comes in many different forms.

Today, I want to talk about the admiration and, most of all, the love that I have for my sisters. These are the true sistaqueens in my life. Now, I want you to keep in mind this is not a word I use sparingly; it is reserved strictly for those who know and fully grasp their true status as queens.

As a daughter of a woman who converted to Islam, I grew up around many women who acted as a great means of support to one another. Our house was opened to sisters who needed a place to stay during rough times. These women represented the true sistaqueens in both behavior and appearance; they had an air to them that, as a young Muslim girl, I was always drawn to. Their bright, colorful hijabs sat upon their heads like crowns with an elegance and style that my younger sister and I often tried to mimic. Their courage, trustworthiness and dedication to one another were a great example for me and epitomized the true meaning of sisterhood.

I would come to recognize the true meaning of sisterhood in my own life.

After my divorce, I began to understand the importance of having close friends. I met several groups of sisters, but most left me feeling uncomfortable and alienated. However, one group struck me as different. This group reminded me of the many diverse friends that my mother surrounded us with while we were children. They came from all walks of life but shared the common road that brought them together, which was Islam. Some were single, divorcees, or widows and others were fleeing abusive relationships while several were on the brink of leaving Islam. This group served as means of support for many sisters who didn’t have families or a solid Muslim community to lean on.

I came to realize that there was no such thing as a nuclear Muslim family. Unlike the Muslim community I grew up in, people in this group were accepted despite their backgrounds and differences. This community allowed me to realize that Muslims come from all walks of life, and that it is almost impossible to categorize them.

I remember one time in particular there was a sister who was in an extremely abusive relationship to the point that her life was threatened. Her family had deserted her upon her conversion to Islam and as a result she had no safe haven. Several of us pooled our resources together and assisted the sister in finding a suitable place to stay. In many communities a woman under such circumstances would be shunned from the community, but Allah has made most women compassionate and nurturing beings.

As women, most of the time we focus on the negative experiences we encounter throughout our search a spouse while forgetting all the good people we’ve met through this process. I’ve met some great women who I consider very dear to me. We often hear about many negative traits women possess and fail to remember that Allah has placed the ability in us. Being deep into my twenties, I have matured significantly within the last several years. This is partly due to the friends who have taught me invaluable lessons about life, pain, love and most of all myself.

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Ihssan Tahir is a twenty something self-proclaimed “SistaQueen” living in Chicago. She is a registered nurse and specializes in emergency and trauma medicine. In her spare time she enjoys writing and practicing the violin. You can follow her candid blog about her husband hunting endeavors and relationship tidbits at http://muslimnlove.com/.