Girls Like It, Too

Call me crazy, but girls love sex too. (Yes I know, a shocker right?)

Want to hear the crazy truth? Muslim girls love sex as much as their males counterparts. In fact, they are as hormonal as men. They desire sex, passion, hot love-making, PDA and fetishes as well. The most shocking aspect of this is that some Muslim women have slept with men before marriage.

You heard me right. Men. Not a man, but men.

It is a perplexing and a bitter pill for a Muslim man to swallow.

As a young Muslim conservative kid, I never talked to girls. Since some interpretations of Islam hold a strict basis of segregation, I never had the guts even in my college days to approach a Muslim girl and say a mere salaam. I respected the fact she covered her head and observed her chastity.

To be honest, I could not stand the fact that a Muslima had a boyfriend, let alone a one-night stand.

I’ve always had an insecurity that loomed like a dark cloud. I wanted to believe that I have huge heart, yet I felt that I always lacked in looks, personality, and my ‘”swag” factor because I never interacted with females. I was always too conscious about my flaws to notice anything good about myself because I never knew what girls looked for in a guy. Additionally, I always felt that I was a giver, and it devastated me to see Muslim women being used to satiate physical desires. At some level, it seemed to suggest that that guy, Muslim or not, was a better person that me, though he wan not honorable.

For the longest time, this notion haunted me.

I began to detest some of my male friends who indulged in this practice of sleeping around. In desi culture. We call men like that chichoras (sex hungry guys who like to brag about how many women that have slept with). I simply stopped associating with “playas” because I did not want to be that type of man. I felt that being pious and chaste should be an incentive and an attraction to women. To realize that some women were able to throw their chastity away so easily without being wooed romantically (and in a dignified way) devastated me. It shook my whole mentality about romance, love, marriage, and intimacy. Sex is something sacred for me. This has nothing to do with my carnal instinct; I see the act as a tango of two souls.

I took so much pride in my aspirations as a man. The chichoras concept made me uncomfortable. I felt alienated knowing that I was a genuine and chaste individual, but betrayed that in spite of my halal lifestyle I might never enjoy the experience of human intimacy. My mind couldn’t fathom the fact that women could just give themselves over to men who didn’t honor them.

To be fair, it wasn’t just about women. The chichoras not only got sex, but many ended up happily married in spite of their past. Why would a girl who knew that a guy would only use her allow herself to go through with sex? Did she not feel that she would get emotionally attached to the guy? Why would a guy be rewarded in the end with a good marriage after being a playa?

At some point, I realized I needed to get out more, expose my feelings, and take pride in my lifestyle choices as a committed Muslim.

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I want Muslim women to know that if a man truly desires you, he should embrace your soul, your beauty, and your flaws. If he truly wants to be “one” with you, then he has to realize that you are much more valuable than a few minutes sexual fulfillment. That if he wants you, he will court you in an honorable way. You are a gem, a diamond, a beautiful pure woman who deserves much more than what’s given to you. I hope you truly understand that. Allah made you so beautiful that no man is worth chasing who cannot put a ring in your finger.

I completely understand that sex is a need for everyone, including Muslim women. What I want to emphasize is that there are many Muslim men and women who want to enjoy a fruitful sexual lifestyle through a long-term commitment. There is nothing wrong with two Muslims being intimate. The problem is when Muslims, despite their other worthy traits, indulge in one-night escapades that can be a total turn-off to other Muslims.

May Allah guide us all to the right path. Ameen

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Faizan Seedat was born and raised in Karachi, Pakistan and moved to to Chicago in 1999. Faizan decided to do pursue his lifelong goal of hifz from Muslim Society Incorporated.  After finishing his hifz, Faizan completed his undergraduate degree from DePaul University.  After his undergraduate degree, Faizan pursues his MBA/MISM from Keller School of Management.  As an undergraduate, Faizan fell in love with writing and he was chosen as university writing tutor. He is an avid weight lifter, loves to play sports, write poetry, upload fitness videos and revise his Quran. Faizan plans to complete his  degree in Electrical Engineering and to publish technical white papers along with his other personal literary work.