Beyond Modeling a Healthy Body Image

“Ugh, I hate my body.” I was standing in front of a mirror, scrutinizing my middle. I still haven’t quite lost the last of the weight I gained while pregnant with Bobby. My statement was followed by a sudden realization that Sally was standing in the room. I don’t know if she heard what I said, but the shock of realizing that she could have hit me in the gut—and made me feel almost panicky. I can’t do this anymore, I realized. Sally is watching, Sally is listening, and Sally is learning from me what to think about her own body.

But this moment got me thinking, because there’s a lot more to helping your daughter develop a healthy body image than simply not criticizing your own. I never heard my mother speak negatively about her body. My mother is a beautiful woman who, in spite of numerous pregnancies, never struggled with her weight. She is fashion conscious and wears her skin with pride in a way that often contrasted distinctly with the other homeschool moms in our conservative circle. And yet, I ended up with serious body image issues. I honestly think that part of what happened was that, as a woman who never struggled with body image issues herself, my mom didn’t know how to relate to my own feelings toward my body or even recognize that there was a problem.

Yes, modeling a healthy body image is important, but so are other things, like being honest and talking about the challenges she will face. Things like teaching Sally to be an informed consumer of mass media and entertainment, and helping make Sally aware of what she is walking into. This is something I’ve been thinking about a bit as we head into the New Year.

So I thought I’d open the floor for discussion. What ideas, resources, or anecdotes do you have to share? How can we help our daughters, nieces, or friends’ daughters develop a healthy body image? And for that matter, how can we foster a healthy body image in our sons, nephews, and friends’ sons?