A witty reader writes:

WASHINGTON (PEANUT) — News photos of President Barack Obama bowing to Japan’s emperor have increased conservative fears over the United States surrendering to Japan.

On Monday, Obama was in China, having wrapped up the Japan leg of his Asia trip two days earlier. But Washington’s conservative pundits were sounding the alarm about the US president’s renegotiation of the Japanese Instrument of Surrender, signed in Tokyo Bay in 1945, which ended the Second World War.

Political talk shows have played and replayed the moment from the second day of Obama’s week-long Asia tour, which set the blogosphere on fire and chat show tongues wagging.

“I don’t know why President Obama thinks we should surrender to Japan. Maybe he thought it would play well with the Japanese.” But it’s not appropriate for an American president to abjectly surrender a war that we won,” said conservative pundit Bill Steuben, speaking on Fox News.

Another conservative voice, Phil Rennet, said on CBN’s “State of the Union: America Surrenders” program: “It’s ugly. I don’t want to see it. We won. There’s no reason to surrender.”

“I’ll bet if you look at pictures of world leaders over 20 years meeting the emperor in Japan, they don’t surrender,” Steuben said.

Japan’s Prime Minister Yukio Hatayama downplayed the surrender reports on Monday, noting that Japan’s overseas empire, the Greater East-Asian Co-Prosperity Sphere, is no longer active.

“We wish America to keep her country,” Hatayama said, addressing a gathering of Sean Hannity outside his Tokyo residence. “We have no interest in ruling your lands.” Conservative American commentators were skeptical of Hatayama’s statements, however, noting reports that US State Department officials have begun referring to “Dai Nippon” and shouting “Banzai!” to one another.

GOP leaders vowed resistance to the new policy, urging Americans to make increasing contributions to GOP campain funds. “He lies! Obama may surrender to the Japs, but we Americans ain’t,” said South Carolina Representative Bo Pilson, “if we lay down for the Japs, what’s next — the Mexicans! We’ve got to make sure Obamacare doesn’t raise our taxes to provide ICUs for freeloading Mexican papooses.”

Some said the gesture was particularly grating after Obama’s bow to Saudi Arabia’s King Abdullah at a G20 meeting in April. Many American conservatives criticize the move, which they contend established an Islamic Caliphate under Mahmoud Ahmadenijad that now rules the Middle East.

“It’s time for Americans to rise up and take back the House by electing Republicans,” said GOP Chairman Ted Yepperson. “We cannot allow these unconditional surrender to stand. These colors don’t run! Fight Obama’s plans to raise taxes on capital gains, vote Republican!”

Obama’s reported surrenders to Japan and the Islamic Caliphate have created a dilemma — should Americans submit to the Caliphate or the Chrysanthemum Throne? Most Americans appear to be undecided, with 99.999999% answering “don’t know” on a recent poll conducted by Pew Research.

“It’s very confusing. Most Americans aren’t aware that they are either subjects of the Japanese Empire or part of the Ummah,” noted Pew analyst Goody Goodbody. “They are far more concerned about losing their jobs, and the schools their kids go to,” she noted.

Tara Pain, former governor and GOP vice-presidential nominee, weighed in at a signing for her new book, Look at Me! A Real Conservative! Look at Me!. “We’re going to educate the American people,” she said, “and make them realize that America doesn’t surrender to just anybody.”

Heh!