God Love Erin Manning

…who completes my day by offering something to offend the whole family of God (which my perverse sense of humor naturally loves):

I Am a Neo-Cath (sung to the Pirate King tune from Gilbert and Sullivan’s Pirates of Penzance)

Oh, better far to live and die,
Under the Papal Flag I fly;
Than to play a sanctimonious part,
With a Protestant Convert’s graceless heart.
Away to the Gay New World go you
To float in the Spirit of Vatican II…
But I’ll stand firm, on the St. Blog’s Path,
And live and die…a NeoCath!

For I am a NeoCath!
(He is! Hurrah for the NeoCath!)
And it is a felt-banner burning thing
To be a NeoCath!
I am a NeoCath!
(You are! Hurrah for the NeoCath!)
And it is a great gobsmacking thing
To be a NeoCath!
(It is! Hurrah for the NeoCath; hurrah for the NeoCath!)

When I sally forth in polemical way,
To enter a great blog-combox fray,
I encounter other Catholics there,
Who have all the wit of a Haugen air;
But even those who are on my side,
If they show too much ex-Protestant pride,
Can count on me, to take up the slack:
Then turn and stab them in the back!

For I am a NeoCath!
(He is! Hurrah for the NeoCath!)
And it is a truly righteous thing
To be a NeoCath!
I am a NeoCath!
(You are! Hurrah for the NeoCath!)
And it is a rather fluid thing
To be a NeoCath!
(It is! Hurrah for the NeoCath; hurrah for the NeoCath!)

…followed by the amazing:

I am the Very Model of a Modern Rad-Traditional

I am the very model of a modern Rad-Traditional
I’ve information Latin and liturgic-inquisitional
I know the work of Modernists and people even sillier
And can recite the names of forty bishops, pre-Conciliar
I’m very well acquainted too, with matters Mass-grammatical
I’ll tell you why the words “for all” require a sabbatical,
As to the bad new music I possess the means to measure it
With special focus on the dreck of the St. Louis Jesuits
I’m very good at sniffing out indifference and irreverence
And punishing the bad with all the force of social severance
In short, in matters Latin and liturgic-inquisitional
I am the very model of a modern Rad-Traditional!

In fact, when I know what is meant by “agape” and “caritas”
When I can judge between bad innovations and “varietas”
When Jewish domination I no longer in each theory see
And when I know precisely why it’s nuts to say, conspiracy
When I discover that the Novus Ordo Mass is still the Mass
When I can give a nervous server’s errors a forgiving pass
In short, when I remember that it’s not my job to judge them all
You’ll say a more reformed Rad-Trad has truly never heard the call
For my charitable impulse, though I’m expert in validity
Has suffered just a bit in the degree of its timidity,
But still in matters Latin and liturgic-inquisitional
I am the very model of a modern Rad Traditional!

I stand open-mouthed in amazement at your unguessed depths, Erin. Live forever.