Behold! The 2011 Bulwer-Lytton Bad Writing Contest Winner!

Cheryl’s mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories. – Sue Fondrie

For them that don’t know, the B-LBWC (named for the novelist who actually began a novel “It was a dark and stormy night.”) is held every year and the challenge is to write the worst opening sentence to a novel. Here’s the winner of the Adventure category:

“From the limbs of ancient live oaks moccasins hung like fat black sausages — which are sometimes called boudin noir, black pudding or blood pudding, though why anyone would refer to a sausage as pudding is hard to understand and it is even more difficult to divine why a person would knowingly eat something made from dried blood in the first place — but be that as it may, our tale is of voodoo and foul murder, not disgusting food.” – Jack Barry

There’s more where that came from. Lot’s more.