Prayers for my Mom

Prayers for my Mom January 17, 2014

The diagnosis is official.  It’s Stage 3 lung cancer.  Basic options are painful radiation treatment for six weeks, buying her a few months, or no treatment, leaving her with six month, more or less.

If the latter, then breathing will get harder, strength weaker, and pain will begin and increase till she passes.  The good news, according to my wife who knows about such things, is that she should qualify for hospice and, presumably, lots of pain management drugs.

Still processing.  You think of the strangest things: memories of sitting in a highchair and being fed custard, old home movies of her in her vigor, selfish and self-pitying thoughts of feeling vaguely naked under a pitiless sky with no older generation to protect you.  When Mom goes, I’ll be the adult in the room.  All that wisdom she handed down, all that love, and all those old stories from the past will be alive only in me and my brothers.  And I’m a pretty leaky vessel for that legacy.

She’s pretty comfy at present and still has a hearty appetite and no pain.  Just weak and easily tired.  We saw her last Saturday and will try to make opportunities to go down and visit regularly (she’s in Olympia and we north of Seattle).  She’ll need to decide soon what she wants to do.

Anyway.  Prayers please, particularly for comfort in her last months and above all for the grace of a happy death in Christ.  She is not Catholic, but was raised Anglican and believes in Jesus.

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  • elaine t

    praying for you, your Mom and the doctors that God’s grace will flow and guide all decisions, and His will be done.

  • Alias Clio

    I’m sorry to hear this, and all the sorrier because my own mother went through it. For what it’s worth, she didn’t find radiation treatment difficult, although she didn’t have to endure 6 weeks of it.

  • jenny

    Pray right now…..

  • James H, London

    Ah, Mark, I’m sorry. My mum got breast cancer, but they got it in time.

    Prayers for you all, mate.

  • Dcn Rick Paine

    Mark, I lost my mother to cancer in June 1985. I can understand your comment about being the adult in the room, however sad that may make you feel. I will pray for her to have the grace of a happy death, and you and your family to experience the Lord’s consolation and strength.

  • Narda Theobald

    Tears for your mom. I know she would love to be with you all as long as she can. Balance of love, dreams, life, death, inheritance of her memories, wisdom, compassion, love above all. Prayers for you all

  • pianogirl88

    Prayers for your mom, her medical team and for you and the rest of your family.

  • Mark – never think for a second that anyone BUT God can determine when it is our time. My Mom & dad were diagnosed with Lung Cancer exactly one year apart, mom in 95 & dad in 96. I lost my dad a month later. My mom lived for 7 years longer. A good friends mom was diagnosed the same time as my mom and she just passed away this past november… Although diagnoses may be tragic, the time you have left is priceless… Everything is a gift from God. Always keep that in mind. Prayers for your entire family.

  • Diana

    Dear Mark,
    Others have said it better, but let me add to the chorus. I’ll be praying for you and your family, and especially your Mom. God bless you all through this difficult time.

  • AquinasMan

    Very sorry for this development. You are all in my prayers.

  • David Curp

    God keep you and yours dear friend – and grant your mother a deeper and stronger faith and consolation during this time

  • S. Murphy

    Adding my prayers to everyone else’s. We lost my Mom 3 years ago, after a 4- year
    contest w multiple myeloma, which, if it were a village of benighted, torturing savages, and I were an all-but-invincible warrior with a fiery sword, I’d be mortally tempted to commit an atrocity- but that I’ve read Mark Shea’s numerous posts on the church’s Just War teaching. 😉
    But dammit, I keep coming up with questions about cooking, household repairs, where exactly great grandma so-and-so came from…
    My Mom had a good death, in the grace of the sacraments, surrounded by her children & grandchildren. We had enough warning to all come home. I pray that your Mom has more time, and experiences less pain, than you expect right now, that she gets to say her good-byes, and that Our Lord takes her by the hand and leads her into his Kingdom when the time comes.

  • Just saw this. Praying.

  • PixilDot

    so very sorry – praying for your mom and for you all

  • CatholicJames##Scott+~



  • FMHJ

    Well, the doctors have had their say, and now it’s time for God to have His. My mom had a heart operation in 1999 at age 82. The next day she had a stroke. It looked really bad for her. She’s in a wheelchair, but she’s still on this side of the veil, at 97. My dad, who was much healthier, died 6 years ago of a heart attack at 86.
    Prayers are everything. If it is her time to go home, the prayers will bring such graces to everyone, that your hearts will be comforted beyond belief. Pray for her to live, or if it is God’s will, she have a happy death. Pray to St. Joseph, and pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet. Ask God to mitigate any pain, and to give her joy.
    Peace. Peace to all. God Bless.

  • KyPerson

    Mark, I lost my mother last year on Mother’s Day (how ironic). She was in a nursing home from the effects of severe arthritis and a stroke – she could not walk.
    I am taking care of my father who has dementia and trying to work full time which is about to kill me from stress. We all need prayers. I will pray for your mother, please pray for me.

    • S. Murphy

      Praying for you & yr Dad, ky

  • I am just catching up with the sad news. Mark, my prayers go out to you, your mother and your family.

  • The Next to Last Samurai

    I’m so sorry about this.

  • jenny

    Who knows…..miracles happen…..

  • Jane

    So sorry to hear. I paraphrased this from someone much better at this than I. I hope you don’t mind.

    Father, hear our prayer for Momma Shea’s comfort in body, soul, and spirit. Give her caregivers grace, wisdom, knowledge, skill, understanding, compassion and the proper technology to help her. Give her and all who love her grace, peace, consolation, strength, faith, hope, and love. Mother Mary, St. Peregrine and St. Luke, pray for her. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

  • Alex

    I am so sorry, Mark. You and your family are in my prayers.

  • Mother of God, please intercede for Mark’s mother, for Mark, and for Mark’s whole family. Amen.

  • Dave

    God bless your Mom and your family, Mark. We will include you all in our prayers.

  • jenny

    I keep praying …..

  • Oh, Mark, I’m just reading this a few days after your post. I am so sorry to hear about your Mom’s illness and will be praying for her. May the Lord be her comfort and refuge. Peace to you all.

  • Rachel K

    Holy St. Peregrine, pray for her. I’m so sorry.

  • jenny

    I keep praying….

  • HA

    God give strength and courage to her and her loved ones.

  • MarylandBill

    You have my prayers. I know how I felt when my Dad was in the hospital and how much all the prayers for him meant to me. I am sure they contributed to his relatively easy passing. I will pray that God does what is best for your mother and for your entire family.

  • Mark please know that I will be praying for your Mom, and for your whole family.

  • jenny

    I keep praying…..