Steve Greydanus, Eparch of Filmic Awesometivity…

…counsels a copious intake of chill pills on the upcoming Noah flick.  He’s perfectly right, of course.  It’s just movie.

I’ll go see it, partly out of professional interest and partly because I want to see the spectacle of a global flood done right, even if the theology is as deep as a mud puddle.

Poor Steve, however, is now going to have to cope with the Attack of the Fundamentalists who insist the Faith teaches the earth is six thousand years old and who are convinced that somewhere along the line the Church defined the dogma of the absolute scientific accuracy and newspaper-like historicity of the Noah account.  Suggesting that Noah is theologized myth and that the Church allows for this view is, to these people, like trampling on the Eucharist.  They know perfectly well that the Magisterium needs their help to smoke out evil monsters like Steve and purge them–and almost everybody else–from the Church.

It’s one of the reasons evangelism is so loathed by the Pure.  Bring in *more* people?  There are too many in the Church already!  No more converts till we’ve kicked out most of the members we have, hit the reset button, and then begun to *very carefully* admit newbies once they have passed the thicket of shibboleths, ideological purity tests, and secret handshakes necessary to show one is a True Catholic[TM].  With this piece, Greydanus exiles himself from elite ranks of the Real Catholics[TM] for many of the St. Blog’s Combox Orthodoxy Cops–along with such threats to the Faith as Pope Francis and Fr. Robert Barron.