Fun Contest!

Fun Contest! June 18, 2014

So, apparently, people are upset about the Washington Redskins, which play some kind of sport point unit goal thing, having to change their name.  Funny old world.  I think it’s a golden opportunity.  How often do you get to name a sport point unit goal team something new? “The Washington Apatosauruses” sounds good to me.  Or the “Washington Diet Cokes”.  Or the “Washington Windows 8s”

Now you go!

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  • Andy

    The Washington Gridlock

  • sez

    The Reds

    • Elaine S.

      OT Trivia note: the MLB Cincinnati Reds, originally named the Red Stockings when they were formed in the 19th century, briefly reverted to their old nickname of “Redlegs” in the early 1950s, at the height of the McCarthy era when “Reds” became a politically incorrect term.

  • Hezekiah Garrett

    Don’t rename them. Move them to Boise, and replace the current mascot with a Baby Potato!

  • Are actual Native Americans protesting the name? And is it just a few of the professionally aggrieved, or is there widespread discontent in the Native American community? Or is this some kind of politically correct cause de jour?

    • Mark S. (not for Shea)

      Does it matter? How is a term like “redskin” still considered acceptable? How is it any different than the N-word? If they do keep it, I hope they rename some of the other teams in the NFL to reflect their standards. Something like:
      The Dallas Rednecks
      The Atlanta Hillbillies
      The Seattle Shrugs
      The Phoenix How Come My Kids Never Call?
      The Carolina Massahs
      The Miami Cartel

      • Dave G.

        Because we never hear rednecks disparaged nowadays. If nothing else keep the government out of forcing it to change.

      • Before the Braves moved to town, Atlanta was host to a minor-league team named the Crackers.

        But that’s not my favorite part of the story. My favorite part is that there was also a Negro League team in town: the Atlanta Black Crackers.

      • bill t

        I’d vote for “The Chicago Machine”

    • Some Native Americans hate it. Others have proudly named their high school football teams the “Redskins”. And then there are those who really don’t care one way or another (I’d guess they’re a healthy majority, but that’s just my hunch). It’s complicated…and absolutely not the sort of thing that’s proper for the Federal government to settle on everyone’s behalf.

      • Tom

        Pure anecdote, but I’m friends with a Native American (Seneca, to be exact. And were they named after the Roman Seneca? Anyway…), and he said he doesn’t care at all, nor does anyone else he knows.

        • People on the rez are more likely to care, and not just the AIM-sters either. There’s also a dynamic similar to that with the “n-word”–quite a few people have no problem with “redskin”, but only so long as it’s being used by Indians.

          I suppose it’s much too late for the NFL team to try signing some Native American players, or including a tribe in the ownership group…

  • Mark S. (not for Shea)

    Given the team’s locale, the Washington Buzzards seems most appropriate as a replacement. Or maybe the Washington Bloodsuckers.

  • Ye Olde Statistician

    And what’s with Minnesota naming their team after the rapacious killers who once terrorized Ireland? Surely an oppressive name! (And doesn’t the “Fighting Irish” perpetuate a stereotype?) Pirates and Buccaneers were never too savory, either.

    • silicasandra

      Right, but that’s what they *were* (Vikings, Pirates). I don’t particularly care, but I do think a much better case can be made for changing the name of the Redskins vs. other team names that refer to Native Americans (I’ve seriously heard it argued that it’s offensive to name teams after Native Americans, on the basis that there aren’t teams named after groups of white people – which even before my husband introduced me to sports watching I knew was really, really, really, untrue.)

      • Dave G.

        And the Irish?

        • silicasandra

          The “Fighting” thing could be a stereotype, or it could be that lots of teams call themselves the “Fighting” whatevers.

          • Dave G.

            Or both. Or neither.

            • silicasandra

              True. I just think it’s dangerous to assume negative/derogatory intention. If you’re going to, “Redskins” make more sense because it has a verifiable history of being a racist term. But “Seminoles” or “Vikings” or “Raiders” or “Irish” does not.

              Overall, I think it’s a rather silly thing to argue about. How about the fact that they aren’t very good?

  • Dean

    Seattle Soggies?

  • The Washington:
    –Special Interests
    –Bureaucrats (which will also be charmingly hard for sports writers to spell)

    For starters, anyway. 🙂

    • chezami

      It’s a tossup between Kakistocrats and Leeches for me.

    • Rebecca Fuentes

      The Washington Baristas.

    • freddy

      Very good! But I’m leaning toward “The Washington Porkbellies,”

    • Elaine S.

      They could always revive the name of the old MLB team, the Washington Senators. Or how about the Washington Federals — matches nicely with the Washington Nationals baseball team. Their mascot could be a Union Civil War soldier since they were, at the time, often referred to (in the North) as “Federals”.

  • BHG

    No need to change the name just the mascot. Make it a dancing new potato….

    • Hezekiah Garrett

      That’s lame 😉

  • obpoet

    Never mind Washington. That is trivial. As a born and bred southerner, I am deeply offended at the use of the name Yankees by some second rate New York team. If Washington has to change their name, then New York should certainly be required to change their name. It is truly scandalous.

  • bob cratchit

    Just rename them the California Transplants

  • Never found it within myself to get upset over the Boston Celtics or the Notre Dame Fighting Irish. Anyway, since it seems this was the result of a decision by a minor functionary, it would be only fitting to memorialize such warriors by naming the team the Washington Bureaucrats. Or the Redtapes.

  • Washington –
    – Bubble Boys

    – Swamp Things
    – Neros (fun mascot/half-time show possibilities)
    – Bigfoots
    – Plausible Deniabilities
    – “is”
    – Tammanies
    – Comrades
    – Filibusters
    – Pick Pockets
    – Monuments
    – Undersecretaries
    – Overlords
    – What We Deserves

  • Mark.

    I recall an old proposal to call the team the Redinks. Almost an anagram.

  • Joe

    How about the Washington Starbucks? It could be deer with antlers that form a vague star-shape. No one would have a problem with that!