50 Shades of Mercy

It seems to me that if Catholics are smart, we would take the launch of Fifty Shades of Grey to ally with feminists of good will and say that decent human beings do not glorify domestic abuse, but instead support efforts to fight domestic abuse and uphold the dignity of women (and all sentient creatures with a pulse). This is not a culture war opportunity: it’s a chance to do a work of mercy and a work of evangelization.

So: instead of panicked memes and boycotts and hysteria demanding that nobody go (which will only make people curious), remember how the American people “stopped” the threat of Howard the Duck. Not with hysterical screams but with the age-old method of “Man, that was money I will never get back” word of mouth. Then suggest a way to take vengeance on Hollywood for this dog of a film: by spending our dough on something directly opposed to it. Do a quick a reference to something like 50 Dollars Not 50 Shades where you can say, “Instead of blowing 11 bucks you will never get back on a film that even the actors are embarrassed about, a film so wretched that it won’t make you laugh like bad films are supposed to, but simply make you feel ashamed to be human and doubly ashamed because you got con men to talk you into giving them money to feel this deservedly self-loathing for watching it, why not spend that chunk of change you obviously did not need on something that will make you feel good about yourself and do some real good for somebody else? Talk about win/win! It’s like avoiding Howard the Duck *and* winning the lottery with the money you saved on the ticket.”