This Year’s Christmas Culture War Panic

This Year’s Christmas Culture War Panic November 9, 2015

Behold! A Culture Warrior Battles the Great Apostasy and the Fiery Persecution!

Other Culture Warriors are getting on board with this, panicking and courageously scolding hapless baristas who can neither fight back against customer, nor change this utterly trivial policy. All across America, culture warriors who, just a couple of years ago were having hysterics about turning Christmas into Winter, are now letting the damned librul baristas know that conservative Americans with no real problems are not going to sit idly by and let the forces of godlessness remove the sacred snowflakes, reindeer and snowmen from our Starbucks Coffee Cups without a fight!

Result: Human Toothaches for Jesus with nothing better to do are making life hell for everybody by turning Christmas into a culture war weapon–again. Here is a recent note from a barista confronted by one of these embarrassing apostles for the gospel of Culture War:

“Hello Starbucks people. I need to rant about the fuss over the Starbucks red cups and a wonderful customer that made my day. I had a customer come in today and ask me why we had red cups. I said they were our new Christmas cups and she gave me an devilish smile and ordered her drink. Then she said “oh my name is Merry Christmas” and I said okay with a smile and wrote Merry Christmas on her cup. (Her real name was Marry and she was so proud that she was able to get me to write Merry Christmas on her cup, I would’ve wrote stupid head if she told me, its what we do ,write names on cups no matter what it is) She then proceeds to comment and tell me that I am a horrible person for working for a company that doesn’t believe in Christianity and that I should say something to my manager to tell corporate about the ‘stupid red cups.’ (I am a Christian and personally see nothing wrong with the red cups). Why does this red cups thing have to be so stupid?! Its a cup they will be gone in a couple months.”

When you do this kind of stuff, you are an excellent argument against the faith. Memorize today’s verse:

God’s Name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you. – Romans 2:24

Oh, and by the way, a friend sends this along, taken in the past day or so:

Starbucks needs a new blend, super high in caffeine, called “Panic du Jour”–“For the Wingnut Culture Warrior in Your Life”

Browse Our Archives