I think most of us get caught up in the destination question. Where are we headed? What is the point? When will we get there? Will we ever get there? And our vision becomes myopic and too focused on everything but the most important Thing – our destination is our Father. Our final destination and our daily destination is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever. That is our only goal and ultimate purpose. All our hopes and desires are futile if they are not destined in this, if they are not entwined with running to God at every turn, resting in His arms, trusting His provision, and enjoying His very existence – His COMPANY – with us.
The quote is from Robin’s post, Where Is Our Pillar Cloud?.
My body has been acting funny the last couple weeks. It does this from time to time and it is kinda annoying, but I see my complicated health less as a burden and more as a gift from God that I am slowly learning to be thankful for. The truth is, it might just be that God is giving me plenty of opportunities not to complain per my request, but given my health history (PTSD, early onset menopause from long-term starvation/malnutrition via Hyperemesis Gravidarum, ovarian cysts, and a family history of breast cancer), we have to keep tabs on my symptoms to know when we need to consult a professional.
As you can imagine, when something is more whacky then normal-whacky, it is easy to start worrying.
What is going on? Am I dying (faster than usual) again?
What did I do to make this happen? Could this have been prevented?
It’s the ramen noodles, isn’t it? They’ve finally come to get me!
God does and is.
Physical, mental and emotional wellness have become idols of our day. Whenever we get scared, it is a good indicator that we have set something or someone up into God’s rightful throne. 2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (KJV) I need to keep working at indulging my fears less and worshiping God more.
- If God sees fit to give me cancer like my grandmother and countless friends before me — thanks be to God.
- If He has ordained that I should struggle with mental stability for the rest of my life — praise His holy name.
- If I never get off these 20 extra pounds that push me into plus size territory or (gasp!) gain even more weight — Hosanna.
My heart quickens as I write these words. The muscles in my arms are twitching. They do that sometimes because my body is kinda crazy and responds that way to stress. But all of this, it is ok, it is good because I am not the point — He is.
And this is wonderful because…
- God is good. The Bible establishes a behavioral baseline of the Almighty, the Bible has taught me that He is good and seeing Him work in my life has proven it.
- He sees the big picture and I can’t. His decisions are infinitely more wise than mine could ever be. Even when I don’t understand, this is one of the reasons I can trust Him. It isn’t blind faith, it is well established trust.
- His name is Immanuel, God with us. He will never leave me or forsake me.
I need to stop indulging my weakness, my fear, my false sense of authority over my life — it is just creating undue stress. I need to stop wasting time worrying (read googling WebMD) and spend more time singing praising to Him. I need to be strong and courageous. There is no place for fear and paranoia in the Christian life. Being with Him and getting to know Him better is the point of my life — and yours — and fulfilling this purpose does not require perfect health, perfect situations, or perfect people, thanks be to God! He has done all the leg work, all I need to do now is fall into Him. Admittedly, this is easier said then done, but the point is mercifully clear and overwhelmingly glorious: Him.
As I look back on my life, only significant because God has chosen to bestow the incredible honor of being His adopted daughter upon me, I am beginning to see His glory peeking through my murky story and it is beautiful. I can see that, even in my lowest lows, He has carried me to safety. Lord, give me the strength not doubt Your faithfulness, especially when I need You most.
And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts, living within you as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love; and may you be able to feel and understand, as all God’s children should, how long, how wide, how deep, and how high his love really is; and to experience this love for yourselves, though it is so great that you will never see the end of it or fully know or understand it. And so at last you will be filled up with God himself. Now glory be to God, who by his mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of—infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes.