“Make of yourself a light”
said the Buddha,
before he died.
I think of this every morning
as the east begins
to tear off its many clouds
signal-a white fan
streaked with pink and violet,
An old man, he lay down
between two sala trees,
and he might have said anything,
knowing it was his final hour.
The light burns upward,
it thickens and settles over the fields.
Around him, the villagers gathered
and stretched forward to listen.
Even before the sun itself
hangs, disattached, in the blue air,
I am touched everywhere
by its ocean of yellow waves.
No doubt he thought of everything
that had happened in his difficult life.
And then I feel the sun itself
as it blazes over the hills,
like a million flowers on fire-
clearly I’m not needed,
yet I feel myself turning
into something of inexplicable value.
Slowly, beneath the branches,
he raised his head.
He looked into the faces of that frightened crowd.
So, Mary Oliver tells us the Holy One’s last words were “make yourself a light.” I like it. A lot. And, well, there are other last words to consider
For those of us who prefer solar calendars the most common date used to mark the anniversary of Gautama Siddhartha’s death is the 15th of February. So, not a bad time to think about such things.
The principal text addressing this moment, the Mahaparinibbana Sutta is clearly, at least by my reading, a digest of his teachings composed with an eye to the continuation of the community he led. I have little doubt a fair amount of it was how shall we say, “enriched” by those who won the ensuing struggles for leadership.
For those familiar with New Testament studies, the text feels similar to that “second Paul,” the author of First & Second Timothy & Titus, that address the young church full of institutional advice. And which are clearly from someone different than the ecstatic mystic who wrote or whose teachings are compiled as most of the other letters.
There are various translations of them as recorded in the Mahaparinibbana Sutta.
One version goes:
All compounded things are subject to vanish. Strive with earnestness.
Another has it:
Experience is disappointing. It is through vigilance that you succeed.
Still another reads:
All fabrications are subject to decay. Bring about completion by being heedful.
All component things in the world are changeable. They are not lasting. Work hard to gain your own salvation.
What we get are two points, an observation and an exhortation.
The first continues a theme he touched on throughout his ministry, things are composed of parts, and anything composed of parts will come apart. And with that any grasping will ultimately be thwarted. And with that frustration, unhappiness, dissatisfaction, dis-ease follows like night follows day.
And then the exhortation. It turns very much on volition, on his confidence that the individual, you and I, can win some victory through our sustained attention.
What that victory is he doesn’t spell out. Or, rather it is spelled out a bit differently in the various traditions that follow him.
I notice the different schools shift what that victory is a fair amount, ranging from separation and extinction to fully engaged without attaching to any result. Me, I’m not so inclined to that first view, and completely in accord with the second.
Not that I’m attaching to any results, you understand…
In any case that old monk who gathered a small band around him and preached a lot of sermons in a land so alien it is hard to even picture it much less comprehend it, teaching in a language lost to us and so recorded centuries after his death in languages he did not speak, sparked something.
And that fire continues to burn.
Sort of a light shining into the darkness…
A light into many individual hearts. Those individual hearts he called to work diligently, to see through the transience of things, and to win some great victory on the other side of our grasping at things.
And this becomes our victory. Along the way we discover our individuality is intimately connected to everyone and everything else.
And so no one can be left behind
A great light…