Commentary on “Women and Pornography”

I received several interesting and useful comments regarding women watching pornography and how this is a growing issue among our members and women in general. It is important to know that group therapy is highly recommended as part of the equation for treating any addiction. There is an accountability factor to group therapy that is very useful.

Comment #1:
SA is largely where alcoholism was early in the days of AA. The standard model was that men were alcoholics and went to AA with Bill and Doctor Bob, and their wives went to Al-Anon with Lois. Women, of course, would never do anything as wrong as drink to excess, so all they could be were coaddicts, and male coaddicts had nowhere to go. Now, things have changed for alcoholism, but there’s a lack of wide-spread acceptance that SA is a serious addiction. And, like early alcoholism, the stereotypes are about the more extreme cases: men who are having lots of affairs, hanging out in strip clubs and spending lots of money on prostitutes. Female sex addicts are the objects of male fantasies. And porn addiction isn’t considered a problem if you can keep a job. SA is more widespread than alcoholism, and overlaps with every other kind of addiction. Women are no more immune to SA than men are, and they are still largely underserved. However, there have been female SAs using LDSR for years now, so there are resources available for those who will come and use them. Some day they might even be welcome at a gender segregated PASG meeting. They could show up at an ARP meeting and just not talk about their drug of choice. Anyhow, thanks for raising the question and talking about SA in real terms. One other problem with the way the institutional Church responds to this lagging behind and focusing on majorities and ignoring minorities is that the institutional Church has heavily stigmatized seeking counseling from anybody outside the Church to deal with any problem that hasn’t been identified as a problem by Church leaders. There needs to be a constituted effort on the part of top Church leaders (people with a first name of President, because people named Elder just won’t have enough clout to make this change quickly) to either destigmatize seeking qualified counseling, or to identify a wide spectrum of the problems people in the Church face. I’m not sure which is more likely.

Comment #2:
I understand there is actually at least one PASG for women now (in Utah County).
(For those that don’t know, ARP is the church’s Addiction Recovery Program and PASG is Pornography and Sex addiction Group within ARP – see the LDS Family Services web site at providentliving.org for more info. Also, LDSR is Latter-day Saint Recovery at ldsr.org)
It seems there have always been women on the Clean-LDS e-mail list as well (an e-mail support group for people struggling with pornography and other sexual addictions).

Comment #3:
Well, in the Sunday afternoon session of conference, Pres. Monson just told everyone young and old, male and female, to avoid pornography. That does include women.

Comment #4:
I’m glad the prophet said something in the general session finally. A first for the Church and a good start down such a hard path. I think this will be the first step for a lot of women being able to admit they have a problem because it’s been recognized as a problem others have as well. And as we all know, admitting it is the first step. I am so happy he said something. Really, really happy.