Shame And Guilt Are Not The Same Thing, Right?

So much good thought here. Thanks for all you are doing.

Not that I’m a therapist, but I quibble a bit with the notion that the gospel is never about guilt. Shame and guilt are not the same thing, right? Prophets have taught that guilt can be to the spirit what pain is to the body, as when a hand is on a hot stove. Shame that makes us want to hide is another story, and is not from God.

I think it’s important not to shy away completely from the guilt that can be productive and spirit-directed, and to keep a clarity about the fruits of shame vs. the potentially good fruits of guilt that turns one to God.

Thank you for your kind words.

I assume you are referring to my writing the following the statement:

It is important to remember that gospel teachings are ALWAYS meant to increase happiness – not guilt.

I stand by my statement in that gospel teachings are meant to show us the way towards happy, fulfilling lives – they are not MEANT to produce guilt. However, gospel teachings give us a heads up that guilt and shame are likely consequences of not following gospel teachings and/or breaking commandments. In other words, these feelings are consequences.

The definition of shame goes as follows (freedictionary.com):

1. a. A painful emotion caused by a strong sense of guilt, embarrassment, unworthiness, or disgrace.

b. Capacity for such a feeling: Have you no shame?

2. One that brings dishonor, disgrace, or condemnation.

3. A condition of disgrace or dishonor; ignominy.

4. A great disappointment.

The definition of guilt:

1. a. The fact of being responsible for the commission of an offense.

b. Law The fact of having been found to have violated a criminal law; legal culpability.

c. Responsibility for a mistake or error.

2. a. Remorseful awareness of having done something wrong.

b. Self-reproach for supposed inadequacy or wrongdoing.

I am in agreement with you regarding the benefits regarding both guilt and shame. There are definitely times when our behaviors/actions/thoughts necessitate these feelings. If I’m having an affair on my spouse, there should be shame and/or guilt involved. The same with many other more serious sins. However, both guilt and shame are not meant to be places where we stay for a long time. Rather they are tools in a sense, to be used as motivators to head us towards repentance and in different, more positive directions. Wallowing in guilt and/or shame can be detrimental in fact, to our moving forward. My main concern with these feelings have to do when they are inappropriately or exaggeratedly felt.

I recently wrote a post regarding this same topic.