Letter was not a “declaration”…

Sorry, but this was not a “Declaration”. This was a letter that was sent to Bishops and Stake President’s only, and was not to be shared with the general membership (not intended to be read in Sacrament meeting).

This was more of an “opinion” letter, to help those counseling couples, as it appeared that there were too many husbands demanding things that their wives were not comfortable with.

I would refer you to the following Church media release:

“SALT LAKE CITY 4 May 2007 Much misunderstanding about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints revolves around its doctrine. The news media is increasingly asking what distinguishes the Church from other faiths, and reporters like to contrast one set of beliefs with another.

The Church welcomes inquisitiveness, but the challenge of understanding Mormon doctrine is not merely a matter of accessing the abundant information available. Rather, it is a matter of how this information is approached and examined.

The doctrinal tenets of any religion are best understood within a broad context (see here and here), and thoughtful analysis is required to understand them. News reporters pressed by daily deadlines often find that problematic. Therefore, as the Church continues to grow throughout the world and receive increasing media attention, a few simple principles that facilitate a better understanding may be helpful:

• Not every statement made by a Church leader, past or present, necessarily constitutes doctrine. A single statement made by a single leader on a single occasion often represents a personal, though well-considered, opinion, but is not meant to be officially binding for the whole Church. With divine inspiration, the First Presidency (the prophet and his two counselors) and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles (the second-highest governing body of the Church) counsel together to establish doctrine that is consistently proclaimed in official Church publications. This doctrine resides in the four “standard works” of scripture (the Holy Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants and the Pearl of Great Price), official declarations and proclamations, and the Articles of Faith. Isolated statements are often taken out of context, leaving their original meaning distorted.”

There is more to the press release, but due to it’s length I only included the above portion.

Notice that Church Doctrine “is consistently proclaimed in official Church publications”.

This issue of oral sex has not been mentioned since that letter, but rather retracted in the subsequent letter, which basically stated “stay out of the bedrooms” when counseling with members.

I hope that this helps.

Here’s some additional information about the 1982 letters (note the plural). This is a short excerpt from the article: “They Shall Be One Flesh”: Sexuality and Contemporary Mormonism by Romel W. Mackelprang.

“On 5 January 1982, in response to numerous queries about oral sex, the First Presidency distributed a letter to bishops and stake presidents. In it, they characterized oral sex as impure. However, the letter specifically stated that church leaders were not to discuss intimate sexual matters with members. The letter was also not to be shared with the general church membership.

“Apparently, a number of the local leaders read the first part of the letter but ignored the second, choosing instead to delve into members’ intimate lives. After the 1982 letter, several of my clients and a number of friends reported experiences in which bishops or stake presidents made such inquiries. Some reported local leaders using church meetings to counsel members about sexual practices. Almost all of the inquiries and counsel dealt specifically with oral sex. As a result of these intrusions, many members wrote letters to church leaders, protesting ecclesiastical meddling. In response to these reactions, on 15 October 1982 a second letter was sent to stake and ward leaders that reiterated the 5 January directive to avoid inquiring into couples’ intimate sexual practices. Further, it directed leaders that even if asked by members about specific sexual matters in marriage they were to avoid giving direct counsel. The latest directive, in “Instructions for Issuing Recommends to Enter a Temple” (1989), directs interviewers to ask only, “Do you live the law of chastity?” They are further counseled: “When interviewing an applicant for a recommend, do not inquire into personal, intimate matters about marital relations between a husband and his wife. Generally, do not deviate from the recommend interview questions. If, during an interview, an applicant asks about the propriety of specific conduct do not pursue the matter, merely suggest that if the applicant has enough anxiety about the propriety of conduct to ask about it, the best course would be to discontinue it. If you are sensitive and wise, you usually can prevent those being interviewed from asking such explicit questions.” This directive makes it clear that couples, not church leaders, are responsible for their sexual conduct. They should take their questions to God, not to ecclesiastical leaders. The suggestion to “discontinue” sexual practices they have questions about may unintentionally lead to unnecessary guilt and restriction of physical intimacy. The most beneficial recommendation for couples, from a therapist’s point of view, is to counsel and decide together. When necessary, couples can then seek God’s guidance.”

My response to 11:34 would be that it is not the religious institution that is trying to delve into the relationships, but instead some often (over)zealous lay leaders of the church who out their own spin on the formal directives they receive. That happened in 1982, and the church leaders clarified something that had been missed in the earlier letter, that the local leaders were not to get into specifics.

Hope this info about the letters helps. Ms. Helfer, thanks for a great blog on important topics.

Yes, thank you for your sharing your research with us. It is very helpful.