The “open and honest sit down” is done…

The “open and honest sit down” is done. Has been done for a few months now. No changes, in fact getting worse. I’m about ready to move out of the bedroom, but I wonder what message that will send our children? Will they even notice that dad is sleeping on the couch and has more or less a business relationship with their mother?

First off, I am very proud of you! I am glad you chose to have an open and honest discussion with your spouse regarding the fact that you are masturbating without her. Regardless of what ends up happening in your relationship, at least you can always know that you chose the honest route in trying to solve your issues.

Secondly, I’m sorry things still do not seem to be moving in a positive direction. At the same time, it doesn’t seem like she went “ballistic.”

Thirdly, whether or not you move out of the bedroom – I’m sure your kids are well aware that there exists marital tension between the two of you. If nothing else motivates the two of you to change the status quo, hopefully the example you want to set for your children will. The marital example you and your wife set will greatly affect the types of marriages your children will more than likely have themselves.

Fourth – have the two of you considered professional counseling? It sounds like things have progressed to a negative enough stance that you could benefit from an objective, professional opinion. With as many issues as you have presented, I would expect consistent weekly sessions for 3-6 months to see sustainable progress.

It’s difficult for me to assess the nature of the entire problem without the input from both parties. A good marriage & family therapist would be able to help you more than what I’m able to do on this type of forum.