I am quite frustrated in my marriage and it stems from issues of sex and intimacy. I have been married for 15 years, and we have four children, the youngest just started Kindergarten. My marriage has devolved into almost a roommate situation. My wife has no interest in sex, and she never shows me any affection whatsoever. This became an issue for me early in our marriage, and we used to argue/fight over this subject. At that time, I felt... Read more
One question will seemingly not go away in our marriage: How does a Mormon man reconcile the physiological need for regular orgasms with his wife’s belief that not only are they not important, but that his need for them is somehow evidence of his sinfulness? We are both in our early forties, have 3 kids and have been married for nearly 20 years. Currently, we are having sex once every 6 to 8 weeks. I most assuredly want sexual intimacy... Read more
A book I’ve recently been reading that I think has a lot of useful information and pertinent “advice” for all types of relational issues within LDS marriages: Behind the Smiling Faces: An LDS Perspective on Marriage and Divorce Renita and Alan Cassidy Foreword by John L. Lund, PhD behindthesmilingfaces.blogspot.com Read more
I just wanted to thank you for your post. I am the person who asked this question. I have read it many times and am planning to practice saying the words out-loud. You’ve written out the script for me beautifully, but thinking of saying the words aloud makes me nauseous. After you posted your response, my husband and I discussed in detail my cuts for the first time. It was so hard but brought us closer. I trusted him and... Read more
If you really want to help your readers who struggle with the guilt they feel over masturbation, tell them that they need feel no more guilty about it than they do about breathing.Masturbation is as natural an act as is breathing. It is no more wicked then breathing. One does not need to repent of masturbation anymore than one needs to repent of breathing. When you come down to it, the church leaders who have so ruthlessly imposed this guilt... Read more
Here is a Mormon woman who is running a blog about her experience with depression. What a creative and resourceful outlet! Kudos! Depressed (but not unhappy) Mormon Mommy Read more
Here is a great article discussing the pros and cons to doing therapy through alternative methods such as email, telephone, and video conferencing. Since these are all services I offer I thought some of you may be interested in this information. Therapy online: Good as face to face? Read more
Well, you’re not going to like my response and you probably will not post it, but here goes: For me, it was just the opposite. Sex-wise, my beautiful and beloved wife was conservative in the early days of our marriage – although every now and then, something magical would happen and she would simply be amazing. I think her conservatism mostly had to do with her fear of getting pregnant, which she did five times. After the fifth time, she... Read more
Soy de Argentina. Qué bien tu blog! Mi hermano estudia psicología en la UBA. Algunos hnos de la iglesia nos dijeron que un miembro de la iglesia no puede ser psicólogo!!!:-O I’m from Argentina. What a great thing, your blog! My brother studies psychology at the University of Buenos Aires. Some members of the church told us that a member of the church should not become a psychologist!!! Perdoname que voy a responder en Ingles, como la mayoria de los... Read more
Love your blog- thank you so much for taking the time to answer questions. I have a great relationship with my husband. After nine years of marriage, we are open, honest, best of friends, and now trying to work harder at a better sex life. My husband is always ready and willing, but I have a harder time trying to get in the mood. I many times wish that he were in better physical shape, and maybe that could “turn... Read more
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