Do you know if there is any risk of desensitizing the clitoris from moderate vibrator use? I use it anywhere from 1-4 times a week. I am not aware of clitoris desensitization presenting as a common problem. I imagine as with all skin, especially with skin that is so sensitive, the clitoris could experience soreness and irritation if overly stimulated. This could happen through manual stimulation or even rubbing up against clothing. If you are experiencing pain or discomfort of... Read more
If different bishops treat this so differently, then the church needs to come out with more clear, defined guidelines. Most LDS women, upon learning that their husband masturbates even occasionally are more likely to have thoughts of divorce than they are to have it move them “towards a more intimate and loving relationship.” No matter how many guidelines the church comes out with, there will always be differences on how situations are treated and handled. This is because the gospel... Read more
I am no therapist but I do have a spouse who struggles with generalized anxiety disorder, OCD and major depression- so I have experienced SOME of what you are going through. In addition to proper medication and counseling, my spouse found a Recovery support group to be of tremendous benefit. It is a free group run by members. The purpose of the group is to, first, feel accepted and understood by others who truly KNOW. Second, to learn cognitive coping... Read more
Assuming that both spouses are aware and approving of the practice, and that thoughts are directed towards the spouse (like past sexual encounters with spouse) what do you think of the idea that, FOR MARRIED MEN OR MARRIED WOMEN, masturbation can be a healthy outlet when the other spouse is just not willing or interested (in my case 30+years) in participating or improving their overall sexual intimacy with spouse? Now a thought on this next response: “If you and your... Read more
I have followed your blog now for several months and have found it insightful & helpful on many levels. Thanks for all you do!Here is an issue I have not seen addressed yet. What is a couple to do when the man’s body no longer can do the necessary physical motions required for sexual satisfaction. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. After a normal session I pay the price. For two or three days I experience back... Read more
I appreciate so much the posts you’ve done in the past about masturbation. This has been an area of difficulty for me my whole life – as a child and young woman because I constantly felt guilty that I could never stop completely, and now because I’m angry with church leaders (and church policy) for imposing this guilt on me. When I was 14 and confessed to my bishop about my little problem, he informed me that my church membership... Read more
I am an adult living with ADD (no ‘H’ for me). While it has it’s frustrations, it also has some tremendous benefits. I COULD be medicated but if I were, I’d lose my ‘spark’. My ADD has enabled me to accomplish some pretty amazing things. Things ‘normal’ people would never imagine because the vast majority of them lack the ability to see outside the box that comes so easily to those of us with ADD. I get so tired of... Read more
Hi, I am a married mormon man who strives to keep myself worthy. Lately, I have been looking for help for some sexual matters. I have never had education about these matters, neither in church nor in family. Then I found a statement of Spencer W. Kimball and his counselors on oral sex: “The First Presidency has interpreted oral sex as constituting an unnatural, impure, or unholy practice. If a person is engaged in a practice which troubles him enough... Read more
My husband has been diagnosed with Major Depression, GAD and OCD with Religious themes. Through all my research, I have found some information on the internet about OCD with Religion as it’s theme and it is referred to as Scrupulosity. This description of Scrupulosity fits my husband to a tee. I don’t know if you are familiar with it because I don’t know how common it is. My husband’s OCD manifests itself in severe guilt. When he was in High... Read more
I’d like to see your reply to this: Are Two Parents Better for Kids? I completely agree that stability is a pivotal part of providing a positive upbringing for children. There are many single parents doing a wonderful job of this. There are also many two-parent families in which stability lacks due to a variety of issues (i.e. marital conflict, violence, child abuse, tension, etc…). Obviously the ideal, is a two-parent stable family. But when this is not a possibility,... Read more
The Mormon Therapist
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