This Is What It’s Like to Be a Muslim Adoptive/Foster Parent

Sarah Haider

How long have you been adopting? How many children have you adopted?

I have been an adoptive parent for almost 13 years. I have adopted two children.

What made you want to become an adoptive parent?

Infertility and inability to have children biologically led me to adoption. We chose international adoption from Pakistan as the way to build our family.

What has your experience been like as a Muslim adoptive parent?

Initial responses from family varied between pity and skepticism, but some of our friends were positive and welcoming of our decision to adopt. Many told us we will have children biologically once we adopted. Some even suggested it was due to some past transgressions that I was being punished this way. However, our friends and family have come a long way in this time; most are now supportive of our decision, and my children are valued and celebrated.

What were the reactions you received from the Muslim community when you decided to adopt?

The Muslim community was not a big part of our life when we decided to adopt, over the past 6 years we have been very open and vocal about our adoptions and most people who come into contact with me now know that I am a big advocate for it, so the negative responses have somewhat diminished.

What are some misconceptions that you have noticed the Muslim community has about fostering and adopting?

The biggest misconception is that Adoption is not allowed in Islam; people get hung up on the change of parentage, mahram issue, and the inability of the adopted child to inherit from the adoptive parents. Working with Sh. Omar Suleiman on the Fiqh of Foster Care and Adoption in Islam in April 2016 made things easier as then I could refer to the recording of that session and not have to address these objections on my own.

What is your message to the Muslim community regarding this topic?

My message is to open your hearts and provide a loving home to a child who needs it, Allah rewards positive intent and has placed a great emphasis and reward on caring for an orphaned child.