This Is What It’s Like to Be a Muslim Adoptive/Foster Parent

Sameena Gulamali & Jauher Ahmad

How long have you been adopting? How many children have you adopted?

We adopted our first child in 2012, second in 2014, and third in 2017 (one boy and two girls).

What made you want to become adoptive parents?

When we first got married, adoption was not something that we talked about or something that we considered doing. It was not part of “our plan” but subhanAllah, Allah (swt) is the best of planners. After trying to conceive for a couple of years we realized that having a biological child would be very difficult. We had tried IVF 3 times and lost one pregnancy. I (Sameena) was emotionally and physically exhausted. That’s when I got an email about adopting from Morocco and my husband and I decided to pursue it.

What has your experience been like as Muslim adoptive parents?

Alhamdulillah the whole experience has been very positive and rewarding for us, which is why we have adopted 3 times. We were given the opportunity to grow our family in the most beautiful way possible. I always tell people who ask that the love for these children comes from a place you never knew existed. It is a mercy from Allah (swt) that He is able to fill our hearts with such unconditional love. We couldn’t imagine our lives any other way. When people meet us they say we are doing such a good thing by giving these children a better life, but the truth is they are giving us a better life.

In terms of adoption, one of the challenges we face as parents is raising these kids with an understanding and appreciation of their culture and religion. We want them to know and love Morocco and Islam. When we recently adopted our third child we took the whole family with us and took the two older children on a four day desert safari. We explored Morocco as a family and enjoyed activities such as riding a camel, camping in a Berber camp, and climbing the Sand dunes to watch the sun rise.

At home, we try to incorporate Moroccan food in our daily meals and we also dress in Moroccan clothes on special occasions. We realize that in the future as the children get older, there will be many more challenges when it comes to discussing birth parents and issues of abandonment, but for now we are just taking it day by day.

What were the reactions you received from the Muslim community when you decided to adopt?

The majority of the reactions we received were overwhelmingly positive. Over the past few years adoption has become more and more common  and many scholars have been doing talks about the benefits of adopting so Alhamdulillah, that has really helped as well. People are now realizing that adoption is actually a part of the sunnah and a responsibility for all Muslims.

What are some misconceptions that you have noticed the Muslim community has about fostering and adopting?

The biggest misconceptions are that you can not adopt because you cannot change the child’s last name or because the child will not be your mehram. There are actually ways around that. I gave my children breast milk so they would be our mehrams.

And in regards to the child’s name, many of these children are abandoned. They do not have a father that is known, therefore they do not have ties to their fathers. We are not erasing their lineage by adopting, and the most important thing is that the child must know from a young age that they are actually adopted. We are very open with our children about adoption and their heritage.

What is your message to the Muslim community regarding this topic?

I listened to a beautiful lecture recently where the scholar said that “sheltering an orphan is a sunnah of Allah.” What a beautiful thought. We look at our life and the path that Allah (swt) has chosen for us and we are so extremely happy. We are so blessed that Allah (swt) chose adoption for us because this is not something that had initially crossed our minds.

There are so many children that are in need of love and a home. If you have it in your heart to open up your life to these beautiful children, you will be rewarded immensely inshaAllah.