Little Boxes

Little boxes on the hillside

Little boxes made of ticky tacky

Little boxes on the hillside

Little boxes all the same

There’s a pink one and a green one

And a blue one and a yellow one

And they’re all made out of ticky tacky

And they all look just the same

And the people in the houses

All went to the university

Where they were put in boxes

And they came out all the same

And there’s doctors and lawyers

And business executives

And they’re all made out of ticky tacky

And they all look just the same

And they all play on the golf course

And drink their martinis dry

And they all have pretty children

And the children go to school

And the children go to summer camp

And then to the university

Where they are put in boxes

And they come out all the same

And the boys go into business

And marry and raise a family

In boxes made of ticky tacky

And they all look just the same

There’s a pink one and a green one

And a blue one and a yellow one

And they’re all made out of ticky tacky

And they all look just the same

This is the song that kept a continuous loop in my head on New Years Eve…and continued on until Friday afternoon.

It started with taking down the Christmas tree…and I counted all the little boxes, each one representing a year in my life with Khaled.  Then I put away the children’s ornaments.  Ones that are handmade, each meaning something different at a separate time in our journey so far.  I slipped down the melancholy slope.

Then I began to reflect on the year that had passed…and what we’ve accomplished so far.

Then I thought about my babies going back to school and how I wasn’t ready.  I spend so much time away from them and the years are slipping away.

And they all have pretty children

And the children go to school

And the children go to summer camp

And then to the university

Where they are put in boxes

And they come out all the same

And in the pit of parental despair, I sent Khaled a text…”I can’t send them back on Thursday.  I’m not ready.  I miss them already.”

That night we all slept together in the living room, and rang in the New Year.

And the babies stayed home the rest of the week.

By Monday I had come to terms with them returning to school.

Then we discovered Mr. Fox had grown taller than me over Christmas break.

I’m not ready.

It’s too soon.