This week in my islamic life.

On Tuesday this week, I was planning for my meeting with Mr. Fox’s school counselor.  Its time to make the schedule for next year.  I was looking up information on what he should take for his field of study.  I looked at the admission guidelines for the Top Colleges in the US.  I also looked at the admission guidelines for his first choice school.  We’d been discussing all of this since last week.

And then when I woke up on Wednesday, I had found that 3 bright, hopeful college students had been executed in a hate crime because they were Muslim.

Ever since then, I have been swinging in and out of sobbing.  I AM TERRIFIED that my children are Muslim.  I’m trying to keep everything going but I am so scared.  I talked to Mr. Fox about what had happened, and I share with him the updated info as I have it because I don’t want him to be caught off guard if someone asks him about it.

No one ever makes a big deal about him being Muslim.  His friends are all cool with it.  He has Muslim friends in his circle.  He tells me everything is all good.

And then today, the Islamic Center in Houston is up in flames.  It may be just a coincidence.  I doubt it.

After the last year and a half I was hoping and praying things would take a turn for the better.  I was hoping for some respite from the death and destruction of Muslims.  I was praying that there would be some sort of enlightenment.  People would stop seeing All Muslims as the Evil Other.  I was praying that goodness would prevail.  But it’s not happening.  Not yet.

I tried to take a break yesterday and just tune out from the news, turn on my music and get stuff done.  This song came on my playlist a few times, and now its playing a loop in my head.  I know the song is about twisted relationships and drugs, but today it’s describing my relationship with God and Islam.

“Just Like A Pill”

By Pink

I’m lyin’ here on the floor where you left me

I think I took too much

I’m crying here, what have you done?

I thought it would be fun

I can’t stay on your life support,

There’s a shortage in the switch,

I can’t stay on your morphine,

‘Cause it’s making me itch

I said I tried to call the nurse again

But she’s being a little bitch,

I think I’ll get outta here, where I can

Run just as fast as I can

To the middle of nowhere

To the middle of my frustrated fears

And I swear you’re just like a pill

Instead of makin’ me better,

You keep makin’ me ill

You keep makin’ me ill

I haven’t moved from the spot where you left me

This must be a bad trip

All of the other pills, they were different

Maybe I should get some help

I can’t stay on your life support,

There’s a shortage in the switch,

I can’t stay on your morphine,

‘Cause it’s making me itch

I said I tried to call the nurse again

But she’s being a little bitch,

I think I’ll get outta here, where I can

Run just as fast as I can

To the middle of nowhere

To the middle of my frustrated fears

And I swear you’re just like a pill

Instead of makin’ me better,

You keep makin’ me ill

You keep makin’ me ill

Run just as fast as I can

To the middle of nowhere

To the middle of my frustrated fears

And I swear you’re just like a pill

Instead of makin’ me better,

You keep makin’ me ill

You keep makin’ me ill

I can’t stay on your life support,

There’s a shortage in the switch,

I can’t stay on your morphine,

‘Cause it’s making me itch

I said I tried to call the nurse again

But she’s being a little bitch,

I think I’ll get outta here, where I can

Run just as fast as I can

To the middle of nowhere

To the middle of my frustrated fears

And I swear you’re just like a pill

Instead of makin’ me better,

You keep makin’ me ill

You keep makin’ me ill