NO SUCCESS

As a Pagan I am often aware of deeper meanings and consequences then those around me. Recently this was driven home by an invitation to a thank you dinner given by the Santa Clara Pueblo for fire fighters at the Los Conches fire in New Mexico. Deep inside I knew there is great tragedy attached to the fire and that the idea of a hearty round of congratulations for all was deeply unsettling to me.

Over the course of the fire there were 60 homes burned, thousands of acres of sacred land scorched and an unknown number of places burned over that provided solace to those in need of peace and quiet. Recently I have become aware that a member of our community lost their family cabin.

That cabin has become representative to me of the real cost of the fire. I wonder what magic joyful memories the cabin held for this family. Today there are many who will never see again their teddy bear, photo of grandma, place of birth, etc. For more than a thousand years members of the pueblo community have come to this scorched land to pray and connect with their creator and ancestors.

It has always been my intent to be of service in these situations. Over the years the many thank you signs and cards my fire team has received have always had a disquieting affect on me. Mostly I feel that they proclaim a success that did not happen. Each time, while a community celebrates its delivery from the firestorm, I think to the traumatic losses suffered by those who have paid the price for mans attempt to control and shape the natural world.

Consistently I am humbled by these individuals who smile at their friends and join in their celebrations while quietly enduring the loss of all that they have. If we really want to find those to poor our adoration on maybe we should recognize these victims of the fire who show such courage and strength of character.

Mostly, I want to share that by the time an incident management team is dispatched there is no possibility of success; only the hope of mitigating further disaster. While I love what I do, it is always with the knowledge of what the event is doing to others that I go forward and give my very best, knowing that the effort will never be enough.

Being someone who holds all life and indeed all places sacred gives me a different prospective than many. Yes, I take comfort in the smiling faces of those whose homes were saved, yet I would give anything to erase the pain I see on the faces of those who have lost all they have ever known. It is that desire to prevent just one personal tragedy that has the most profound effect on me.