God doesn’t only promise to replace our grief with joy, but to turn it into joy. Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: Now is your... Read more
I’ve been reflecting on the changes in our home with Nanci gone. The house is so quiet without the sound of her laughter. There is a profound sense of absence. Our double doodle Gracie clings to me and is by my side day and night. I think she misses Nanci as much as I do. We are grieving together. Someone said to me that it must be tough to come home to an empty house. But I don’t. I come... Read more
The following paragraphs from Oswald Chamber’s classic, My Utmost for His Highest, really connect with Nanci’s four years of yielding to God about all the things she was constantly uncertain about. While she never knew if the day’s diagnosis would change tomorrow, or if the cancer would spread or go into remission, or how long she’d have the strength to handle everyday situations, still she would say, “I am certain of Him, so I will be content with all those things I’m... Read more
Isaiah 25:8 says, “He will swallow up death forever! The Sovereign LORD will wipe away all tears… The LORD has spoken!” (NLT). God could have said death will cease or come to an end. Or fade away. But no, like a great lion, God is stalking Death as His prey. When the moment is right, He will attack, take death by the throat, break its neck, and consume it. Death will not die of natural causes. God will kill it... Read more
On November 14, 2019, Nanci wrote the following in her journal: Today I am thinking about “faith.” I have learned so much about faith. What faith is not: – Trying to gather as much hope and “possibilities” in my own mind to reach a certain level – Believing in that level of possibilities as hard as I can – Presenting that package of my own hopes and dreams to God as my personal qualification to receive my hopes and dreams... Read more
I’ve been finding treasures in emails that Nanci sent. For years she was part of a Moms in Touch group, praying with several friends for all their children, who are all now grown, many with children of their own. One of the members shared this quote: “Content is the philosopher’s stone which turns all it touches into gold; happy is he who has found it. Content is more than a kingdom, it is another word for happiness.” —C. H. Spurgeon... Read more
Contemplating the final end of sorrow has brought me great comfort in these first months of grief after my precious wife’s death. I already can’t wait to see Nanci again and have her show me around Heaven, and then after the resurrection when we relocate to the New Earth, for us to both experience it for the first time together. How glorious that will be, and above all just to be with Jesus regardless of where! I sometimes ask Jesus... Read more
Nanci’s memorial service was two weeks ago. Thank you so much to everyone who has prayed for our family and for the service itself. I believe our time was honoring to Nanci, and above all, honoring to her beloved Jesus. I’ll have more to share later, but for now, here is the video. (Fair warning, it’s a long service, as memorial services seem to be these days. But when somebody has lived, and lived well, for 68 years, it’s challenging... Read more
As I shared recently with a friend, it’s a new world I’m living in without Nanci. I miss the old one. The house is profoundly changed by Nanci’s absence. Not hearing her laugh is maybe the hardest part. But I’m sure looking forward to the great reunion, and eternal life with Jesus in a far better world. And to hear her laugh, louder and more vibrant than ever! Here’s a tiny sample of that laugh: One of the many quotes that Nanci... Read more
As Nanci dealt with suffering and faced her death, I saw greater joy and more profound happiness in her than ever before. She had been happy in Jesus all our marriage, but great suffering is a big test. She didn’t merely pass it, she aced it. Sure, she had tough days where she longed for relief and release. But her light didn’t gradually go out; it shined brighter until the last week or so where it really did fade, and... Read more
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