The Shyness Project

Life is very rough when you’re three years old, very cute, and also very, very shy. This is the life of our sweet #4. The other children don’t seem to understand the concept of the word stranger as they’ve never met one in their lives. #4 is different. The whole world is full of strangers, and as much as she wishes to be ignored by them all, she’s too cute to be invisible.

On Easter morning, she asked not to wear her new Easter dress or the darling hair bow that matched it because when “I am cute the people talk to me.” We made a deal, she wore the dress and I ran interference all day long. It worked for Sunday, but the truth is that people try and talk to her and touch her everywhere we go. They especially like to stroke her soft, shiny brown hair. These are probably the same people who rub the pregnant bellies of strangers, ask if I’m breastfeeding, question whether or not we’re planning on having more children….a friend of mine calls it the talk show phenomenon. People just don’t have any concept of boundaries anymore. They think that they have a fundamental right to satisfy their own curiosity, and the feelings of others be damned.

But what do you do when you’re three, and really tiny, and cry and shake whenever someone tries to tell you how cute you are? They are probably very nice people, but they are much bigger, and you don’t know them, and they are very scary. I have thought about this a lot.

So, we made a button today. A shiny pink button that goes right in the middle of her shirt and has sparkly pink butterflies on it. It says “I’m very shy. PLEASE don’t talk to me.” I hope it works. I pray that the strangers we meet will honor her silent request instead of finding it to be an irresistible conversation starter.

If you see us in the store, one half-crazed mom and my 5 little guys, please talk to me, or strike up a conversation with the other four. They will be delighted to talk to you…not a stranger, but a potential friend. But please, honor a three year old’s honest request and pretend that you don’t see her. Please give her the gift and the comfort of letting her be invisible.