Shoved to Them
It’s been a while since we’ve played this game. Ten random facts, only one is not true.
1. I worked one year as a life guard. While taking my test, I had to “save” a 300+ pound man from drowning while he kept trying to drown me. I weighed maybe 100 pounds and was under 5 feet tall. After wrestling with him for almost 2 minutes, I clamped my hand onto the manlier parts of his anatomy and let him know I meant business. He stopped struggling; I didn’t hurt him. I think that’s a fair trade. True. Coach Baker gave me a wide berth after that.
2. I once rebuilt a VW engine by myself using the “Volkswagon Repair for Dummies” book. I’m no dummy, but those books are great. They taught me that a smart girl with a wrench can fix almost anything. False. I’ve done just about everything else to a VW except rebuild it.
3. A friend of mine and I painted a mural for our high school cafeteria. The subject matter was dull, so we hid 27 cats, both living and dead, into the mural. Sometimes, I wonder if they’ve ever noticed. True. If you go to my alma mater, it’s the “History of Art” mural. Start looking under the tire of the ’57 Chevy and go from there.
4. I once begged my best friend to let me dissect the frog in Biology. Nothing doing. I got to the the earthworm, she got to do the frog. She always was selfish like that. True.
5. I had an allergic reaction to stress when #2 was in the hospital and broke out in hives from head to toe. I never knew you could be allergic to an emotion. True.
6. Decided California was not the place for me as I sat on the beach one morning and naked hippies ran past me into the water where they frolicked, splashed and played. (They had to be at least 50 years old. Honestly, nobody wants to see that.) I called my father that afternoon and told him this Texas girl was coming home. True. What I would’ve given for some eye bleach.
7. Left a 2 week old at home with my sweet husband to go to a Billy Joel concert with my dear friend Joanne. For two old ladies we sure could dance and man could we scream! True. I love Billy Joel.
8.I knew I would marry the Computer Guy after our first date. I called my mom and said, “I just went out on a date with (insert name here), the man I’m going to marry.” She replied “What’s his last name?” I told her, “I don’t know, that’s what second dates are for.” True, just ask my mom.
9. Once had purple and green hair. It didn’t last long, but I’m still boring my children with stories about it. True. Doug, you didn’t always live with me.
10. I’ll always be grateful to my mother for teaching me to eat anything on my plate without making a face. I’ve eaten stir-fried crickets in college, calf fries with friends, and lamb’s eyes at Ramadan, all with a lovely smile on my face. I’m the queen of control, you so don’t want to play poker with me. Gross, but true.
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