In the Elevator

#2 and I were at the courthouse today to pick up some records, and were joined on the elevator by Thug Boy. You’ve probably seen him in a town near you with his knitteed cap pulled down to his eyebrows,his saggy jeans, and ours came with a summons in his hand for the Criminal Court.

I looked at the floor. I looked at the wall. I looked anywhere except at Thug Boy.

I looked at #2 who was wearing his jacket hood inside the building.

“#2,” I said in my best mom voice, “is there some reason that you are wearing a hat inside of a building? Inside of a building that has ladies inside of it? Are you trying to show them, by your lack of respect, that you think they aren’t ladies?”

“No, mom, my ears were cold.”

I gave him that mom look where I look straight at him and raise an eyebrow and wait.

He took off his hood.

“Thank you.” I said, and then looked up in time to see Thug Boy hang his head and blush as he pulled the cap off of his own head.

“I’m not your mom, you know. I wasn’t talking to you.” I said with a smile.

He shrugged his shoulders and smiled that embarrassed little boy smile he’s probably had for the whole of his life. “Just the same….” he answered.

I couldn’t help but think that a strict mom with a mean mom voice might have kept him out of that elevator altogether. Either that, or I really am “the Mom.” I should get a cape and a sidekick and go out to scold the world into removing their hats indoors, and wiping their feet, and using their napkins and always saying “Yes, Ma’am.”

Just think of all the good I could do….if only I had the time….and a cape. I definitely need a cape.