What I did today-by the Mom

A little glance into the wonders of life as a homeschooling mom of 5. This is what happens on Tuesday. Don’t confuse it for any other day of the week. They’re all completely different and yet frighteningly the same.

So, without further ado, here’s Tuesday:

1.Hear the Computer Guy’s 2 alarms go off. Wait for him to turn them off.
2.Wake him up.
3.Curl up in bed and try to sleep a few minutes longer.
4.Finally give up when #5 starts screeching.
5.Change #5’s diaper.
6.Watch early morning news and try to understand how William Ayers still has a job teaching at a university. He admits being a terrorist. Shouldn’t he be in jail?
7.Get #1 ready for Co-op and make sure she hasn’t forgotten anything.
8.Get dressed because I have to wave thank you to her ride.
9.Wave thank you.
10.Choke down morning prune juice and lie to myself that it’s not that bad.
11.Wash breakfast dishes. How many people live here?
12.Laundry. It’s on my list everyday, but there are seven people living here so, yeah…laundry.
13.Do school for the day. We should be done by noon, but that’s a dream. Try and finish by bedtime.
14.Chase down #3 and get him started on school work.
15.Tell #2 he needs to sit down and do his work.
16.Do reading with #3. Slowly.
17.Play cars with #5.
18.Teach #4 to say “has” instead of “gots”.
19.Clean up the dog puke on the classroom floor.
20.Go find #3. Get him started on school again.
21.Read to #4 and do “Five in a Row” lesson.
22.Question decision to homeschool.
23.Grade #2’s math test.
24.Congratulate self on brilliant decision to homeschool.
25.Vacuum the whole house. Seven people. Enough said.
26.Begin to post something on my blog about California, Massachusetts and NYC wanting economic bailouts. Something between crying laughter and “Hell no!” Decide I don’t have the brain power today. Write my daily schedule instead. Yeah it’s lame but you’re reading it aren’t you?
27.Rewrite list after #5 deletes it. I love that kid. Really I do.
28.Schedule testing for #3 with the university’s educational psychology dept.
29.Change #5’s diaper while on hold.
30.Figure out how to pay for testing at the university’s educational psychology dept.
31.Wash grimy fingerprints off the walls.
32.Play Littlest Pet Shop with #4.
33.Clean bathrooms. Three little boys. ‘Nuff said.
34.Finally get a shower around noon.
35.Try to balance checkbook. Search for missing receipts.
36.Revise family budget. This every two week pay thing is killing me.
37.Make lunch for everyone still at home. That’s me and 4 children if you’re keeping count.
38.Supervise #2 washing dishes.
39.End up doing them myself.
40.Change diaper and then put baby down for a nap.
41.Feed the poor dog because #2 forgot.
42.Welcome #1 home and listen to the blow by blow account of her day.
43.Start dinner. Something quick and easy. Have I told you of my love for Hamburger Helper? The cheesy hashbrown one is seriously yummy.
44.Kiss Computer Guy as he walks in the door.
45.Ask how his day was and try to understand what he says. He’s a computer nerd. They don’t speak English.
46.Thank him for working so I can stay home. Who wants to put up with all that? Not me.
47.Feed everyone dinner.
48.Tell #1 to wash dishes.
49.Make a menu for the next two weeks
50.Revise it when #1 says “You’re making that again?”
51.Revise again when #2 says “Ewww… I don’t like that.”
52.Revise a third time when the Computer Guy gets home and adds in his opinion.
53.Make shopping list for menu.
54.Go to grocery store and discover that nothing on the list is on sale but lots of other things are.
55.Revise menu and shopping list in the aisle of grocery store.
56.Crumple up and throw away original list.
57.Put away groceries to a chorus of “No chips!” and the perpetually whiny “Mom….you didn’t get my favorite (fill in the blank)”
58.Change diaper. Haven’t I already done this today?
59.Take #2 and #3 to boy scouts.
60.Think evil thoughts about the thin, perky and perfectly dressed mom in charge. She has 4 boys so I can’t even use the big family thing as an excuse. I think I hate her.
61.Finally grade schoolwork.
62.Bathe children and supervise the brushing of the teeth.
63.Put them in bed, say prayers, and kiss them goodnight.
64.Curl up in bed with my honey and watch the end of the debate.
65.Watch 2 hours of post debate analysis. Decide I was watching a different debate from the “experts”.
66.Tell my husband that I’ve got the baby bug…what does he think about a #6
67.Decide that hysterical laughter is a ”no”. Pretend it was a joke.
68.Realize that I’m too tired to do anything to get a #6 anyway. Remember I haven’t shaved my legs in 3 days.
69.Be grateful I can sleep so the computer guy doesn’t notice my hairy legs.
70.Resolve to shave them tomorrow.