What kind of person are you? Do you live a good life? I have concluded the type of person you are—your character and the wisdom you possess—determines how you live your life. More importantly, it determines how you react to the situations that come your way.
In many cases, people’s actions are generally commendable when they have time to think them through. The real issue, however, lies in our reactions. When things don’t go our way, our first response is often frustration or anger. Yet a person of strong character responds differently. Even in disappointment, such a person is more likely to show patience, self-control, and understanding. Ultimately, it is not the situation itself that defines us, but the person we are that determines our reactions.
C.S. Lewis writes on this in his book, Mere Christianity, in an essay titled, “Rats in the Cellar.”
We begin to notice, besides our particular sinful acts, our sinfulness; begin to be alarmed not only about what we do, but about what we are. This may sound rather difficult, so I will try to make it clear from my own case. When I come to my evening prayers and try to reckon up the sins of the day, nine times out of ten the most obvious one is some sin against charity; I have sulked or snapped or sneered or snubbed or stormed. And the excuse that immediately springs to my mind is that the provocation was so sudden and unexpected; I was caught off my guard, I had not time to collect myself. Now that may be an extenuating circumstance as regards those particular acts: they would obviously be worse if they had been deliberate and premeditated. On the other hand, surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of a man he is? Surely what pops out before the man has time to put on a disguise is the truth? If there are rats in a cellar you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly. But the suddenness does not create the rats: it only prevents them from hiding. In the same way the suddenness of the provocation does not make me an ill-tempered man; it only shows me what an ill-tempered man I am. The rats are always there in the cellar, but if you go in shouting and noisily they will have taken cover before you switch on the light.
In the end, life’s unexpected moments act as a mirror, reflecting our true character back to us. Rather than excusing our reactions, we should use them as opportunities for self-examination and growth. By cultivating patience, humility, and self-control in our daily lives, we can begin to change not just how we act when things are easy, but how we respond when they are not. And it is in those unguarded moments, more than any others, that the kind of person we truly are is revealed.
Richard E Simmons III is the founder and Executive Director of The Center for Executive Leadership and a best-selling author.
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