One Year of Sobriety: A Post by Bachelor Producer Elan Gale

Below is a guest post by Bachelor producer — and friend — Elan Gale.  I’m proud of this guy and I love how transparent he is about his struggles.  May we all struggle so openly. 

It’s been exactly one year since I had my last drink.

I woke up on June 10, 2014 and decided that I didn’t want to die.

I told a friend. And then I told another friend. Eventually I told my family. And then I told all of you. The last year I’ve been lucky to be flooded with well wishes and I don’t feel like I deserve them, but I take them, and I hold them close, and I feel stronger for them.

It feels self indulgent to keep writing about this very personal problem of mine, but while the problem is personal, the solution has been anything but. I had a lot of help along the way. Friends, family, colleagues, total strangers. Those that knew me before I got sober know how I’ve changed.

I’m still the well-meaning asshole I always was, but now I’m always present. I don’t always love being present, but I know how important it is. I remember not wanting to admit that I wasn’t able to control myself.

I remember not wanting to be weak. I remember thinking “I don’t want there to be something wrong with me.” But, there was.

That was difficult to say out loud. There is something wrong with me. I am flawed. I am weak. And in the last year I’ve learned that that’s okay.

I remember thinking “this is a problem that other people have.” I was wrong.

Quitting drinking was hard, but the hard part wasn’t really just abstaining from alcohol.

The hardest part for me, I think, was actually making the conscious decision to live.

Continue reading how Elan got the will to live on PAGE 2.