During a recent men’s retreat a couple of us men we’re talking about boys and specifically the issue of boys’ and girls’ “space.” The first comment came from a dad whose wife insists that whatever he buys for his 2 year old son he needs to buy for his 4 year old daughter. She doesn’t want them treated any differently. If he buys his son a toy gun, then he should buy one for his 4 year old daughter. If... Read more
When was the last time a little boy was living in and running around the White House (and I mean a real little boy…not a President acting like a boy)? President Obama? Raising two girls President Bush? His two girls grew up in the White House President Clinton? His daughter grew up in the White House President H. Bush? His sons were grown men President Carter? His daughter grew up in the White House President Ford? Nope President Nixon? Nope... Read more
For all of the great advances women, in particular, have experienced thanks to the Women’s Movement, one of the consequences, intended or unintended, is the confusion between “equal” and “sameness,” or the misunderstanding of differentness. Understandably, because girls and women were so far behind in the 60’s and 70’s, it was important to stress that girls and women were not only equal to boys and men, but that they could also do anything boys and men can do. Equal, however,... Read more
This is a post written by my two good friends, Michael Gurian and Gregg Jantz, adapted from their soon to be released, must-read book, RAISING BOYS BY DESIGN, by Gregory Jantz, Michael Gurian, and Anne McMurray (Waterbrook, September, 17, 2013) Everywhere we turn, people are wondering how to protect a child’s self-esteem. In few areas today is this question more prevalent than in our cultural conversations about how to help boys grow up to be loving, wise, and successful men. In... Read more
Is (Aslan)—quite safe? “Safe?” said Mr. Beaver; “don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.” During a men’s retreat a few weeks ago one of the older men complained: All women want to do is tame men! There’s a loaded statement! I offered a couple of responses: On the one hand I said, “Can you blame them? When you look at the... Read more
Confession: I’m a middle age white guy. I don’t know a Twerk from Tweak. I didn’t watch Miley Cyrus’ performance on the Video Music Awards nor did I go to youtube to see what all the commotion was about (nor did I want to). (My big entertainment excitement comes when Barry Manilow appears live at the White House 4th of July special on PBS!) But all the buzz about Miley’s Twerk serves as a provocative metaphor for the continued sexualization... Read more
The central problem of every society is to define appropriate roles for its men. –Anthropologist Margaret Mead Over the last several months we have witnessed far too many stories about “bad” boys—boys setting off a bomb at the Boston marathon; a boy taking up a weapon to shoot his fellow students; to name a few. But what makes this latest “bad” boys crime so shocking—the shooting of an Australian man—is the seemingly cavalier attitude of the shooters. They were bored.... Read more
Did you know that: Boys are falling behind girls in almost every area of education? 70% of all D’s and F’s are given to boys? 85% of stimulant addressing drugs prescribed in the world are prescribed to US boys? Did you know that a generation ago the US government invested over 100 million dollars into getting girls caught up to boys in school, but so far has invested nothing in getting our boys caught up? Did you know that on... Read more
Searching for Tom Sawyer
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