My kids grew up in the era of the self-esteem movement: that era when, no matter what my kids did, good or bad, they were patted on the back or given an award simply for trying…or being…or showing up…It was/is an era without winners or losers, because losing was somehow seen as detrimental to healthy growth. So instead, everybody always won. Nobody was better than the other. Building up the self-esteem of our kids was priority number 1. Instilling a... Read more
Dear Phoenix (age 3), Judah (almost 3), and Decker (4 weeks), Following Jesus has been an important part of my life since I was your age. My grandpa was a pastor who prayed for me and modeled a compelling faith for me. As you grow into men, I pray the following for you: That you will always know, no matter what, that God loves you, believes in you, and is proud of you That you will always know, no matter... Read more
For the next several months a group of writers focused on the issues of boys and men are collaborating through the writing and sharing of blog posts in order to bring greater awareness to the unique challenges boys and men face in the 21st Century. Twice a month these writers will be posting the same posts on their various media formats to spread the word and to introduce their audiences to the great work of their peers. Today’s post features... Read more
A Picture is Worth 1000 Words Marketers know this. They know that images imprint themselves on our minds and on the collective soul of society. Marketing images not only try to shape society’s perceptions, but sometimes they reflect at least some truth about society. Marketers use images to create a need for a product—choosing images that elicit our identification with the image or stir up in us the desire to emulate that image. For example, if the image is of... Read more
It’s tough being a boy these days. Just ask 6-year-old Hunter Yelton who was suspended from school for sexual harassment; i.e., he kissed a girl on her hand. Just ask 10-year-old Johnny Jones who was suspended from school and threatened with expulsion for “firearms related issues;” i.e., he pretended he was shooting a bow and arrow. Just ask 8-year-old Jordan Bennett who was suspended from school for using his finger to simulate a gun while playing cops and robbers with a... Read more
A Father: Who will protect me, guide me, encourage me, love me, and show me how to interact with good men. A Mom: Who will listen to my heart, who will support me, love me, and pour good feminine energy into me. Mentors: Women who will walk beside me and ahead of me, modeling for me what a good woman looks like, encouraging me, challenging me, and stretching me along the way. A School: That understands how my girl brain... Read more
A dad: Who will be involved in my life, who will teach me to be a good man, and who will be proud of me. A mom: Who will always love me and support me. Mentors: Good men who will walk with me into noble manhood through modeling it, teaching it, and affirming it. A school: That understands how my boy brain learns and teach me accordingly, to empower me to be the best man that I can be. A... Read more
My concern for the future of boys is personal. I have two grandsons, both nearing age three. I’m the pastor of a church with boys of all ages. These are real boys, boys I care about, who are growing up in a world: Where boys are increasingly falling behind girls in school Where the reading skills of teenage boys have been in decline for 20 years Where fewer males are attending and graduating from college Where increasing numbers of boys... Read more
At the end of a seminar I led on boys a man in his 70’s pulled me aside to ask a few questions. In doing so he made some interesting observations. He noted that, in his opinion: Far too many parents today over-program their children often at the expense of building character in them. Rather than starting with the question: What kind of person do I want my child to be?, parents today seem to be asking, What kinds of... Read more
The “bullying” story coming out of the Miami Dolphins locker room has dominated the news for the last few weeks. Though the details still aren’t fully known, it hasn’t stopped the public debate over hazings and bullying. The responses to Jonathan Martin leaving the team over alleged bullying by his teammate, Richie Incognito, have illustrated the confusion we have in our culture over how boys and men interact with each other, how they become men, and how they prove their... Read more
Searching for Tom Sawyer
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